Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the current societal landscape, age of people has become the talk of the town. Numerous people argue that the elderly population creates many problems for the organizations, while others believe that the presence of the aging residents are far more advantageous to the society. From my perspective, the benefits definitely outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, undoubtedly, a significant proportion of the elderly people in the country plays an essential role in terms of experience and wisdom. The senior citizens posses a wealth of knowledge and practical experience which is more likely to be followed by their youner generations. They are the mentors for both, their children and their collegues. They are the assets of cultural and traditional values. Moreover, the retired people also provides childcare support. For instance, most of the working parents in London leave their children to their grandparents during the week days. Hence, the parents remains completely satisfied because of the presence of the elderly family members at their home.

On the other hand, many people still argue that a large proportion of retired people creates problems for the governments by requiring more healthcare services. No doubt that reaching at a certain age above 50 leads to many age related health issues, such as blood pressure, sugar or arthritis, which eventually puts a burden on the hospitals for better treatment and also on their younger ones for managing finance to take care of their medicines and diet. Furthermore, only a small amount of elderly people are experienced and active, whereas the rest are not productive at all. This leads to an increased financial burden on their families and also on governments to provide them pensions. To illustrate, Japan is facing labour shortage because 28% of its population includes older people. Thus, they are facing problems to overcome their work load.

In conclusion, although an aging population may poses significant financial and medical burden, they are extremely important for teaching us ettiquetes and moral values in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and the conclusion returns to the value of older people. You address both sides with relevant points, including experience, childcare, healthcare costs, pensions and labour shortages. The examples about grandparents in London and Japan help make the discussion concrete. However, the advantages are developed more persuasively than the overall comparison: the conclusion mainly repeats the benefits of teaching values and does not explain why these outweigh the financial and medical pressures discussed. Some claims, such as that most older people are not productive, also need qualification or support. Develop the weighing of the two sides more explicitly and extend the less-developed points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the direction of the argument easy to follow. Examples are generally placed alongside the points they support. To make progression more effective, connect ideas within paragraphs more precisely and avoid relying on formulaic transitions such as “Hence” and “Thus.” The final sentence introduces teaching etiquette and moral values, which were not clearly developed in the body, so the conclusion feels only partly connected to the preceding argument. A more direct summary of the comparison would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “senior citizens,” “practical experience,” “healthcare services,” “financial burden,” and “labour shortage.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions show an effort to vary your language. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “age of people,” “the talk of the town,” “younger ones” for younger family members, and “overcome their work load.” There are also spelling errors, including “posses,” “youner,” “collegues,” and “ettiquetes.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this would make the vocabulary more controlled and appropriate to an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which,” “whereas,” and “although,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors occur, particularly with subject–verb agreement and verb forms: “the presence … are,” “the retired people also provides,” and “the parents remains” should use matching plural or singular forms. There are also issues with articles and sentence construction, as in “both, their children” and “No doubt that reaching at a certain age…” The conclusion’s “may poses” should be “may pose.” Review agreement, article use, and verb patterns, then proofread each sentence. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.