Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Today in many countries people are now living longer than even before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments . However, other people believed there are benefits if societies have more elderly people.

To begin with, in my opinion it's absolutely right because now world population increased highest level as well as today the total global population is 8.30 billion and the share of older adults 65 or over is roughly 10.5% to11% of the total global population. It is very high number and risky. It creates many problems for governments .

For instance, governments needs a huge food resources, living space, and strong economy and active health care center for older people. For example, many young people left their parents in old age home because they never afford them. Therefore, governments should need to build a huge number of old age home for such people and manage budget for them.

Moreover, those who believed that there are advantages if society has more elderly people. In my opinion this idea is also right and there are many advantages to begin with, if we need to take any decision in life so firstly we discussed the matter with our elders in this way we took a good decision. For instance, in Pakistan people felt safe if they have any older person in their homes . Moreover, older people have a great experience of living life so we learned many things from them .

In conclusion, both views are right on their place but second opinion is greater than first opinion .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and state a preference in the conclusion: “second opinion is greater than first opinion.” The examples about consulting elders and older people’s life experience are relevant, as are the points about public spending and care. However, the position is not consistently clear: “in my opinion it's absolutely right” does not specify which view you mean, and the conclusion does not explain why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Several ideas are asserted rather than developed, such as the claim that population growth is “risky.” The response is also 7 words below the 250-word minimum, which limits the opportunity to develop your argument. Explain the comparison directly and support each main point with a clear reason or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to disadvantages, advantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “For instance,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear or repetitive. The first body paragraph moves from population figures to food, housing, healthcare, and care homes without showing how each point connects. The transition “Moreover, those who believed…” is awkward and does not clearly signal the shift to the opposing view. Some references, including “this idea” and “second opinion,” are vague. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it; use linking phrases to show contrast and cause rather than simply adding points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “aging population,” “older adults,” “health care,” and “experience.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “share of older adults” and “global population.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, which sometimes makes the argument harder to follow. For example, “huge food resources,” “active health care center,” and “second opinion” do not express the intended ideas precisely. Repetition of “older people,” “advantages,” and “problems” also restricts variety. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing public services, care costs, and the contribution of older people, and check that each phrase fits its context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if we need to take any decision in life…” and a reason-and-result link with “Therefore.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, verb forms, and articles. Examples include “governments needs,” “we discussed the matter,” and “we learned many things,” where the verb forms do not fit the intended general meaning. The opening also has an incomplete comparison in “longer than even before.” Punctuation and spacing around full stops are inconsistent. Practise accurate present-tense statements and build longer sentences from a clear subject and verb, checking agreement and tense before adding extra clauses.

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