Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is considerable debate over whether the elder people create problems for governments whether other believe that aging population is an advantage for society. I believe that the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages as they can guide the younger generation and look after their grand children.

Firstly, the main benefit of older people is that they can guide the young individuals properly. Older people have more knowledge and experience as they passed a part of their life. For instance, when the younger people need advice in choosing a professional field, their elder may help them in this expect because they know which fields are in demanding. Therefore, elderly people can help and moniter the students.

Furthermore, the other benefit of aged community is that they can look after their grand children. Nowadays, parents are busy in their jobs and they dont have enough time to keep an eye on their children. For example, one of my friend lives in the UK and she is a doctor by profession.She used to complained that she has not enough time for children. Now, after arrival of her parents in the UK, she is satisfied that her parents will moniter their kids. As a result, grandparents are an advantage for professional parents.

In conclusion, although an aged community is a benefit for some people as they can guide students in choosing a career and moniter their grandchildren, I believe there are some disadvantages as well. The main disadvantage is that the government give pension to them till death which cause economical problems for country. Authorities should reduce pensions and provide jobs for new graduates.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is stated clearly in the introduction: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you support this with two relevant benefits—older people advising younger people and helping care for grandchildren. The examples make these points understandable. However, the response does not fully answer the comparison in the question: the disadvantages are introduced only in the conclusion, with pensions mentioned briefly and without explanation of how serious this problem is or how it compares with the benefits. The claim that governments should reduce pensions and provide jobs also shifts toward a recommendation rather than developing the requested evaluation. To strengthen the response, explain both sides and show explicitly why the benefits outweigh the costs. The response meets the required length; 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate benefits, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. The examples are placed alongside the points they support, which gives the body paragraphs a clear focus. However, the overall progression is weakened because the disadvantages are not developed until the conclusion, so the essay does not build a balanced comparison before reaching its final view. Some linking is also mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the benefits rather than synthesising the discussion. Develop a paragraph on the costs of an aging population and use clearer links to compare those costs with the benefits.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “aging population,” “professional field,” “pension,” and “graduates.” Some attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “professional parents,” help connect the examples to the topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural. For example, “elder people” and “aged community” are awkward ways to refer to older people, while “in this expect” appears to be an incorrect choice of word. “Moniter” is also misspelled, and “fields are in demanding” is not a natural expression. Build a more precise range of vocabulary for discussing public costs, care, and intergenerational support, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “when,” “as,” and “although.” This allows you to express reasons and examples, and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For instance, “whether … whether” creates an incomplete comparison in the opening sentence; “as they passed a part of their life” has an unsuitable verb form; and “she used to complained” uses the wrong form after “used to.” There are also agreement and tense problems in “the government give pension … which cause,” as well as missing punctuation around “profession.She.” Practise accurate clause formation and verb patterns, then proofread for agreement and sentence boundaries.

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