Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
With advancement in technology and improved health care, people now live longer. Some people believe that having an aging population creates problems for the governments, however, i am of the opinion that the benefits of having aging population is more than the negative effects of such.
Fristly, having aging population in a country can help in transfer of ideas from the older generation to the younger ones. This is because, the younger generation will have the opportunity to learn from the old and experienced ones in their chosen field of work. For instance, in healthcare sector, some old and experienced doctors take up locum jobs after retirement. This provides opportunity for them to teach the younger doctors some useful skills in the profession.This ensures there is continuity in transfer of ideas and an improved health system.
Furthermore, having a good percentage of aging people in our society can help in improving productivity among the working population. This is because those elderly people can take care of their grandchildren while allowing their children to work and grow in their place of work. Just as an example, a retired elderly woman can visit her daughter and help her look after the children while the daughter pursues her professional career.
However, one disadvantage of having aging population is that it can lead to increased government spending on health. This is because there are some health conditions that are associated with aging such as hypertension and diabetes mellitus. These are chronic health conditions that need constant taking of medications. This will lead to government channeling funds that might have been used in providing other essential services into taking care of the health of these elderly citizens.
In conclusion, despite the cost implication of having aging population on the government, the benefits are enormous such as ensuring transfer of knowledge and increased productivity among the working class.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits of an aging population outweigh its disadvantages, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both sides with relevant reasons, including older people transferring professional knowledge, helping with childcare, and increasing public healthcare costs. The examples of experienced doctors and a grandmother supporting her daughter make the benefits concrete. To strengthen the response further, develop the comparison between these benefits and the government’s costs more explicitly. For example, explain why knowledge transfer and family support are sufficiently widespread or valuable to outweigh the additional healthcare spending. The discussion is relevant and supported, though some claims, such as the effect on productivity, would benefit from more explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, separate paragraphs explain two advantages and one disadvantage, and the conclusion returns to your position. Linking phrases such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” “However,” and “In conclusion” make the stages easy to follow. Within paragraphs, you generally connect each claim to a reason and an example, so the reader can understand how the ideas relate. To make the organisation more flexible, avoid relying so heavily on formulaic transitions and vary how you introduce explanations and examples. The second advantage paragraph could also connect its example more directly to the broader claim about productivity, clarifying how childcare support benefits the workforce.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “locum jobs,” “chronic health conditions,” “essential services,” and “professional career.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some are appropriately specific to healthcare and employment. There are, however, occasional spelling and word-choice or collocation problems, such as “Fristly,” “cost implication,” and “constant taking of medications.” Some phrases are also repetitive, particularly “This is because,” and “aging population” appears frequently. Greater precision and more natural collocations would improve flexibility and control. For instance, you could describe the fiscal burden as “healthcare expenditure” and say that chronic conditions require “ongoing medication.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses beginning “This is because” and a contrast introduced by “despite.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the examples are generally easy to follow. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries. For example, “having aging population” needs an article, while “the benefits … is more” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “This provides opportunity,” an article is also needed, and “profession.This” requires a space after the full stop. Review these patterns and check punctuation carefully. More accurate control of these structures, alongside your existing complex sentences, would make the writing more polished.
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