Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that elderly population only creates difficulties for governments rather than any benefits. However, there is group of people who think they are beneficial for society. I will discuss how I partially agree with second view that our elders are assert for us and can help us in many aspects.

Lets begin by looking at advantages of aged people in the society. One of the main positives is that from our elders we can know cultural and moral values. By this I mean, the moral values can help us in many fields of personal and professional lives by giving us solutions for the problem we are facing. For instance, an aged person can help us in the situation where we don't have any experience, But he can gave us the solution by his experience and knowledge. Therefore, the role of elderly people cannot be neglected to protect our cultural values.

Turning to the other side of the argument, for governments this population is just as a new born Childs, which demand extra care without getting any benefit at a time. To be more precise, the significant amount of federal reserves are spent to take care and give extra benefits to the elderly people. Lets use Japan as an example, where above halt of there population is above fifty year old, which is causing many problems for government as they need more labor, doctors and other professionals to facilitate the aging population. This often leads to lower facilities for other sectors which are also important for a country to run.

In conclusion, although elderly people can make benefits for societies and connect us with our cultural values. However, for governments it is much hard to take care of aging populations after some limit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant example, particularly the discussion of older people passing on cultural and moral values and the pressures on Japan’s public services. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position is not fully clear: “I partially agree with second view” is difficult to interpret, while the conclusion says the government burden is “much hard” without clearly weighing it against the benefits. The advantages are also developed mainly through one point, and the government costs are asserted rather than compared in detail with the social contribution of older people. State your judgement directly and explain why one side is stronger overall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “Turning to the other side of the argument” help readers follow the shift in focus, and the Japan example is placed in the relevant paragraph. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, however. “However” at the start of the conclusion creates an awkward link between two ideas that could be synthesised, and “To be more precise” introduces a claim that is not then made precise with evidence. The introduction’s position is also hard to follow, which weakens the overall progression. Make the comparison between benefits and costs explicit and use linking phrases to show how each example supports your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “cultural and moral values,” “federal reserves,” and “aging population,” and you attempt phrases such as “cannot be neglected.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, but several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts of the argument less clear. For example, “elders are assert for us” does not express the intended idea, and “new born Childs” is an unsuitable comparison in this context. There are also spelling and word-choice problems such as “halt” for “half” and “there” for “their.” Aim for precise collocations and check spelling; this will make your points sound more natural and easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “where we don't have any experience” and a reason clause beginning “as they need more labor.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur in basic sentence patterns as well as longer structures. Examples include “there is group of people,” “he can gave us,” and “which demand extra care”; these involve article use, verb form, and subject–verb agreement. The final sentence fragment-like construction, “although elderly people can make benefits… However,” also leaves the relationship between clauses awkward. Practise accurate articles, agreement, and verb forms first, then combine ideas using complete subordinate clauses and appropriate punctuation.

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