Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries the average life span of people has been increased than it used to be before. While some people believe that old people are privilege to society, other comdemn the idea by saying that aging population cause many problems for governments. Although, the aging population can creates problems for governments, the advantages of having more elderly people wil definitely outweigh the disadvantages and my notion will be justified in the ensuing paragraphs.

The primary advantages of having old age people that it can boost nation development. To elaborate, if people live more than average life span, they will be able to work more in their proffesional life and serve the company with their working experience in thier respective fields. Moreover, these people can also share their knowledge and skills with the next generation as well. Subsequently, if there will be more working proffesional with great experience and knowledge the development of nation is obvious. Another merit of having old people is that they strengthen the bonds among families. Presence of elder people at home, foster the family member to have dinner together and to have family trip. As a result, the relation between family member increase which leads to happy and peacefull life. A part from these, they can also help in nurture their grandchilds if both parents are working proffesional.

On the other hand, there are also some demerits of aging people that majorly affects the government. Firstly, large aging population can lead to financial burden on government. For instance, the pensions government provide to old people after their retirment. The capital of these pension comes from the taxes paid by the native people who expects better facilties and living standard from the government. As a result, these maney can be used in development of nation such as providing better transportation, electricity and housing schemes. Moreover, many scheme is provided by government such as free health care and medication which requires lot of funds.

In conclusion, while old people are burdenon government in terms such as providing free healthcare and pension, I believe that having old people benfits the society by contributing their knowledge and experience as well as help in maintaining relationship, which clearly outweigh the disadvantages

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the benefits of an aging population outweigh the costs, and you address both sides of the question. The advantages are supported with relevant points about experienced workers, passing knowledge to younger generations, family relationships, and childcare. You also explain the government costs of pensions and healthcare, then contrast these with the social contributions of older people. This gives the response a developed, relevant argument. To strengthen it further, make the comparison more explicit: explain why the benefits you identify are more significant or lasting than the public costs. Some claims, such as older people encouraging family dinners and trips, are broad and would be more convincing with a specific example or clearer explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, separate paragraphs discuss advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “As a result,” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships between points. The advantages paragraph also moves from employment and knowledge-sharing to family support in a sensible order. At times, however, transitions feel formulaic, and some links between claims are not fully explained—for example, the connection between elderly relatives and family members having dinner together. Use referencing more precisely and vary the way you connect ideas, so the progression remains clear without relying so heavily on standard linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial burden,” “pensions,” “professional life,” and “development of nation,” and you attempt some less common expressions. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general terms such as “old people,” “government,” and “development,” as well as frequent spelling and word-form errors. Examples include “comdemn,” “proffesional,” “retirment,” and “facilties.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “old people are privilege to society” and “the capital of these pension.” These errors do not prevent the main argument from being understood, but they sometimes make the reader pause. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling, collocation, and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional clauses (“if people live more than average life span”) and contrast clauses beginning with “While” and “Although.” This shows some range, but complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors occur across the response. For example, “the advantages … can creates” has incorrect verb form, while “aging population cause” and “the relation … increase” show agreement problems. Articles and sentence construction also need attention, as in “The primary advantages … that it can boost nation development.” Punctuation around introductory clauses is sometimes inaccurate. Practise building complex sentences with correct subject–verb agreement and verb forms, then proofread each sentence for a complete, grammatical structure.

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