Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many nationalities argue that the life span of their people has increased dramatically over the years that caused the increase in the proportion of elderly aged people. However, there is a debate that undergoes parallely about its advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, the increased number of elders in a population has a positive impact on the well-being of the society. Despite of the positive impacts, there are also the considerable amount of disadvantages too.

Talking about the positive side, the elders have spent their entire life gaining various experiences of the world. This treasure of knowledge should be used by our society for the betterment of the country. I believe that higher authorities should pay heed and utilize such vast amount of knowledge into some creative activity for the growth of the mankind. Moreover, such over-aged persons are the important pillar of the society because they have spent their entire life in building such a globalized community. Another great societal benefit includes their love to garden plants which helps in building our environment eco-friendly.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages that cannot be overlooked. Firstly, it is a human psychy that when he is old, the personality becomes very impatient. For this reason, the youngsters cannot tolerate such behavior of elders that sometimes creates a scene of disrespect. Additionally, the responsibility of the government to support such increased number old people causes the financial burden to the national treasure.

To summarize the above discussion, I must say that the old people have struggled enough to make our society better and therefore they deserved be treated with equal respect. Furthermore, I believe that their advantages are much more if they were utilized efficiently and ultimately it would help us to make our country better.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of an older population are greater, and you acknowledge disadvantages before reaching that conclusion. The discussion of older people’s experience and potential contribution is relevant, as is the point about government spending. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and this comparison is asserted more than demonstrated. The claim that elders can share knowledge needs a concrete example of how this benefits society, while the gardening point is not clearly connected to the wider effects of an aging population. The disadvantages are also briefly treated, with impatience presented as a broad generalisation. Develop and weigh both sides more specifically to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding position. Signposts such as “Talking about the positive side,” “On the other hand,” and “To summarize” make the direction easy to follow. This coherent structure is a strength. Some linking is mechanical, however, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth: the discussion moves from elders’ experience to their role in building a globalized community and then to gardening without explaining the connections. References such as “such increased number” are also unclear. Use transitions that show the relationship between each point, and make sure each paragraph develops a connected line of reasoning rather than a list of claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “proportion,” “betterment,” “financial burden,” and “globalized community,” and the main ideas remain understandable. However, several noticeable word-choice and collocation problems make parts of the response sound unnatural or imprecise. For example, “nationalities” does not mean populations, “parallely” is not the natural form here, and “national treasure” is not the usual term for government finances. Phrases such as “over-aged persons” and “love to garden plants” also weaken clarity. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than choosing formal-sounding words that do not fit the meaning. More precise vocabulary for pensions, care services, and older people’s contributions would help express the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “the elders have spent their entire life gaining various experiences” and a conditional construction in the conclusion. Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors occur across sentence structures and sometimes make the wording difficult to process. For example, “over the years that caused the increase” does not form a clear grammatical connection, and “they deserved be treated” is missing “to.” There are also problems with articles, number, and agreement, as in “the considerable amount of disadvantages” and “such increased number old people.” Review clause construction and check that verbs, articles, and singular or plural nouns agree. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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