Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the present time, elderly people may need support governments through retired pension service. In many countries, the majority of people are now living wealthy longer life than even before, while some people claim that an aging population can create problems forgovernments. However, other people believe that thare are benefits of society has more elderly people. If questioned, I firmly believe that this is advantages of elderly people outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin with, one of the main advantages is that elderly people have become more work experience and educational knowledge. This is beacuse they can share valuable life and work experience pass through younger generation. For example, retired teacher can help students to gain knowledge and vocational skills, while expeirence worker can train younger employee.
Furthermore, retired older people can help and support with their families. To explain it, they can help take care of grandchildern and pass on family traditions. For example, parants may have more time to work and responsibilities, while grandparants help with children and other housholds activity such as preparing meal and cleaning.
On the contrary, the foremoste concerns is that higher healthcare costs because older people may need raguler medical check-up and putting pressure on public hospitals and governments budget. For example, Indian governments implement the retired pension shceme through the old generation because they can maintain healthy lifestyle and accomodation without depending for someone.
To conclude, older people have become more work experiene and life knowledge to share with young individuals. Apart from this, grandparants can take the small responsibilities to spend time with thire grandchildren and comfortable environment because in the present, young generation have busy lifestyle such as work pressure and studies.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You present a position—that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages—and give relevant reasons, including older people sharing experience, helping with childcare, and increased healthcare costs. These points address both sides of the question. However, the position is not consistently clear: the opening phrase “this is advantages … outweigh” is difficult to interpret, and the conclusion mainly repeats benefits rather than weighing them against the healthcare burden. Some support is also unclear or insufficiently explained, particularly the example about India’s pension scheme, which does not clearly show how it illustrates the disadvantage. Develop the comparison more directly by explaining why the social contributions outweigh the costs, and use examples that clearly support each point.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and a disadvantage, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “On the contrary” help signal the direction of the discussion. Overall, the reader can follow the main progression. However, some links are mechanical or do not accurately express the relationship between ideas: “On the contrary” introduces a disadvantage rather than directly contradicting the previous point, and “To explain it” does not lead smoothly into the explanation. The final paragraph repeats earlier benefits without clearly synthesising the comparison. Use more precise transitions and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “valuable life and work experience,” “vocational skills,” “healthcare costs,” and “public hospitals.” These choices show an effort to discuss social and economic effects. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “living wealthy longer life,” “support governments through retired pension service,” and “higher healthcare costs because…”; forms such as “thare,” “expeirence,” and “accomodation” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural topic phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions would make your ideas clearer without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You use some longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because,” and “such as,” and the response is generally divided into complete sentences. However, control is inconsistent, and attempts at complex structures often contain errors that make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “I firmly believe that this is advantages … outweigh” has a faulty clause structure, while “elderly people have become more work experience” uses an incorrect verb pattern. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence construction, as in “retired teacher can help students” and “the foremoste concerns is.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and article use.
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