Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many parts of the world, people life span has increased than ever before. Few argue that increasing population of aged people can create many problems for the government, others claim that more elderly people brings greater resulsts for the society. Although having more number of older individuals has certain drawbacks , i strongly belive that advantages are more significant and outweigh the disadvantages.

The primary advantage of having large number of elderly people is that they experience and knowledge helps to improve country economy. By that talent they can give good suggestions to the future entrepenurs how to start and enhance the growth of the new startup companies without any hurdles in the process. consequently, if company gets success they it create many employement opprtunities for the unemploye's. Therefore, it generate good income and helps to promote the econamic growth of the country. Furthermore, They also motivate young pupil's to follow the culture and tradition. if there were no aged people in the society then people will adopt to the modren trends and forget the roots of our tradition,

However, despite this benefits, there are also certain disadvantages. A main drawback of having high ratio of the old people is that they create extra finacial burden on the government. According to the terms and conditions of the country those who aged above 60 should get pension and money monthly, so if percentage of old people increases then authority should give this scheme to many people. This require huge captial and adds extra burden finacially.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you present relevant points about older people sharing experience and preserving traditions, alongside the financial cost of pensions. However, the response addresses the comparison only partially: the benefits are asserted more than demonstrated, and the pension point is not weighed against them in a concluding judgement. For example, the link from older people advising entrepreneurs to job creation and national economic growth needs a specific explanation or example. The cultural point is also broad and would benefit from showing how older people pass traditions on. Develop both sides more fully and end by explaining why your chosen side is stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting advantages, and a paragraph on a disadvantage. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “However,” and “Therefore” help signal the direction of ideas. Overall, the arrangement is coherent, but progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. In the economic argument, the chain from advice to company success, employment, income, and growth is compressed and contains unclear references such as “they” and “it.” The advantages paragraph also ends abruptly, while there is no final paragraph to bring the comparison together. Use clearer sentence-to-sentence links, make pronoun references explicit, and add a conclusion that summarises your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial burden,” “pension,” “employment opportunities,” and “economic growth.” These choices show some awareness of the language needed for an essay about population ageing. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, sometimes making the reader pause: examples include “resulsts,” “entrepenurs,” “captial,” and “finacially.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “more number of older individuals” and “follow the culture and tradition.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing broad or awkward expressions with precise phrases will make your arguments clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening with “Although” and a conditional sentence beginning “if there were no aged people.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For instance, “more elderly people brings” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “if company gets success they it create” is difficult to interpret because the clause structure and verb forms are incorrect. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the lower-case “i” and the run-on transition after “tradition.” Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them using conjunctions and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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