Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many parts of the world, people life span has increased than ever before. Few argue that increasing population of aged people can create many problems for the government, others claim that more elderly people brings greater resulsts for the society. Although having more number of older individuals has certain drawbacks , i strongly belive that advantages are more significant and outweigh the disadvantages.

The primary advantage of having large number of elderly people is that they experience and knowledge helps to improve country economy. By that talent they can give good suggestions to the future entrepenurs how to start and enhance the growth of the new startup companies without any hurdles in the process. consequently, if company gets success they it create many employement opprtunities for the unemploye's. Therefore, it generate good income and helps to promote the econamic growth of the country.

However, despite this benefits, there are also certain disadvantages. A main drawback of having high ratio of the old people is that they create financial instability. According to the terms and conditions of the country those who aged above 60 should get pension and money monthly, so if percentage of old people increases then authority should give this scheme to many people. This require huge captial and adds extra finacially weight on the organization. Due this, country economy may leads to dept. Moreover, young people may remain as employed. The reason for this is that, aged people work untill and unless their physical health damged so, till then there are no opening for the future generation for that postion. Hence, this effect of the employement for those who aged below 60.

In conclusion, while this has certain negative effects on the government and young pupil, its benefits in terms of developing economy is the most significant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides of the question. The economic contribution of older people is relevant, as is the pressure that pensions may place on public finances. However, the advantages are less fully explained than the disadvantages. For example, you say older people can advise entrepreneurs, but you do not give a concrete example or explain how this contribution is likely to benefit society more broadly. The claim that older workers prevent younger people from finding jobs also needs qualification or support. To strengthen the response, develop each main point with a specific example and make the comparison between the benefits and costs more explicit in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “Therefore” help show the direction of the argument. Some connections are nevertheless mechanical or unclear. In the advantage paragraph, “By that talent” does not clearly refer back to experience and knowledge, and “if company gets success they it create” interrupts the progression of the idea. The disadvantage paragraph also moves from pension costs to employment without a clear transition explaining how these are separate effects. Use clearer referencing and connect each claim to the next with precise explanations, rather than relying mainly on linking words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial instability,” “pension,” “employement opportunities,” and “economic growth.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, as in “resulsts,” “entrepenurs,” “captial,” and “econamic.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “more number of older individuals,” “financially weight,” and “young pupil.” These choices sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning, which limits the effectiveness of the vocabulary. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases—for example, how to describe pension costs, older workers’ experience, and employment prospects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although having more number of older individuals…” and conditional clauses such as “if percentage of old people increases.” However, some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms reduce clarity. For example, “people life span has increased” lacks a clear possessive structure, while “more elderly people brings” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “if company gets success they it create,” the clause contains faulty word order and verb agreement. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces before commas and some long sentences that need clearer boundaries. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and correctly matched verb, especially in complex clauses.

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