Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many regions around the world, advancements of medicine has caused people to live much longer than before. However, critics complain that a more aging community are putting strains on governments while other believe that they bring benefits to the society. In my view, a society with more elders can potentialy cause problems but the advantages that they bring outweighs the drawbacks.

One major problem caused by an aging community is that most previously working elderly people are currently retired. With more and more people retiring, the local government would be required to provide services such as health care, and sewage. for those past workers and have nothing in return while the currently employed people pay for these services as taxes. This would cause a significant strain on the financial side of the government and would oblige it to either raise the taxation for the youth or cut the funding on public infrastructure. Which will result in yet a more difficult life for the young.

On the other hand, a higher elderly people percentage does come with some benefits. Most old people will save significant time and money for the younger generation. For instance, retired grandparents will look after their grandchildren and so will help their children. Moreover, another crucial point is that most elders are highly wise people. In other words, they form a perfect fit as politicians and leaders and can assist the community intellectually by providing valuable pieces of advice for the youth.

In conclusion, an aging population comes with advantages and potential drawbacks. However, a higher percentage of elderly people have significant good impact on the younger generation. In my firm opinion, the benefits that the older generation provide outweigh the negative effect they cause.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear throughout: you acknowledge the pressure on public finances but argue that the benefits outweigh it. The response addresses both sides and gives relevant examples, including grandparents caring for children and older people offering experience in leadership. This meets the task well, and the explanation of tax pressure and possible cuts to infrastructure shows some development. However, the benefits are less fully explained: the claim that older people are a “perfect fit as politicians and leaders” is broad and would be stronger with a specific example or a clearer account of how this benefits society. The conclusion restates your view but does not add much synthesis. More balanced development and support for each main point would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The progression from the financial burden to the benefits for younger people is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Which will result in yet a more difficult life for the young” is a sentence fragment and is not smoothly connected to the preceding point. The benefits paragraph also moves from childcare to political leadership without explaining the relationship between these ideas. Use clearer referencing and develop transitions between points to make the progression more seamless.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “financial strain,” “public infrastructure,” “retired,” and “valuable pieces of advice.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some attempts at more formal language are appropriate. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “a more aging community,” “a higher elderly people percentage,” and “significant good impact.” “Sewage” is also an unsuitable example of a service provided to retired people in this context. Spelling errors such as “potentialy” further reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural topic-specific phrases and check word forms and collocations; this would make the argument more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “while,” “With more and more people retiring,” and “In other words.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur in agreement, sentence boundaries, and clause construction. For example, “advancements of medicine has caused” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “a more aging community are putting” also has mismatched agreement. The fragment “Which will result in yet a more difficult life for the young” should be joined to the previous sentence or rewritten as a complete sentence. There are also punctuation problems, including the full stop after “sewage.” Review agreement and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use varied structures.

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