Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

An ageing population is a major demographic trend that brings both difficult and rewards. Although it creates serious financial pressures, would argue that the disadvantages, as long as governments plan carefully.

The main problem is the cost of supporting older people. When the number of workers falls relative to the number of retirees, pension and healthcare systems come under heavy pressure. For example, Japan has a very high proportion of citizens aged over 65, and its government has been forced to increase the retirement age and raise social security contributions. Shortages of workers in areas such as care services have also become a serious concern.

On the other hand, older people make valuable contributions to society. Many have years of experience that benefit their workplaces, and they can train younger employees. Grandchildren often look after continue working. In addition, older consumers spend money on goods and services, which supports local businesses and has encouraged growth in sectors such as healthcare and leisure.

Furthermore, the difficult caused by an ageing population can often be reduced through good policy. Flexible working hours can keep older workers in employment for longer, while investment in technology can make up for labour shortages. Preventive costs by helping people stay healthy.

To sum up, an ageing population does create problems for governments, but the knowledge, economic activity and family support that older citizens provide are significant respond sensibly, the advantages are likely to be grater then the disadvantages.

Thank you for giving me this task,

Patel Yogi.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the opening recognises financial pressures, while the conclusion argues that older people’s contributions can outweigh the problems if governments respond sensibly. The discussion of pensions, healthcare, employment, family support and consumer spending is relevant, and the Japan example helps make the costs concrete. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that older consumers support growth in healthcare and leisure could be linked more clearly to how this benefits society overall. The policy paragraph also introduces useful responses, but its final point is incomplete. Developing these ideas and making the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, two paragraphs on benefits and possible solutions, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the other hand,” “Furthermore,” and “To sum up” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. This gives the essay a coherent overall arrangement. Some connections are less secure, however. “Grandchildren often look after continue working” interrupts the benefits paragraph and leaves the relationship between family support and older people unclear. The final policy sentence, “Preventive costs by helping people stay healthy,” also does not connect grammatically or logically to the preceding point. Clarify these transitions and use references that make it clear who is acting and benefiting.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “demographic trend,” “retirees,” “social security contributions,” “labour shortages,” and “preventive” ideas. These choices show an attempt to discuss the issue with some precision, and terms such as “flexible working hours” and “local businesses” suit the topic. There are also several inaccurate or incomplete expressions that reduce naturalness: “difficult and rewards,” “the difficult caused,” and “significant respond sensibly” do not convey the intended meanings clearly. “Preventive costs” is also an unsuitable collocation for the likely idea of preventive healthcare. Aim to check word forms and collocations, and choose precise phrases such as “challenges and benefits” or “the difficulties caused by.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the conditional “When the number of workers falls relative to the number of retirees” and the contrast introduced by “Although.” Several sentences are controlled well, such as the explanation of pressure on pension and healthcare systems. However, some grammatical errors affect clarity. The opening has no subject in “Although it creates serious financial pressures, would argue…,” and the conclusion is missing a clear clause structure after “significant.” “Grandchildren often look after continue working” also lacks a grammatical connection between its ideas. The sentence beginning “Preventive costs by helping…” is incomplete. Review sentence completeness, subjects and verbs, and how clauses are joined; this would make your varied structures more consistently accurate.

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