Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, people are living longer than everbefore they did in the past and some people say that aging population creates problems.I believe that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages because aged people have more experience and knowlegde than adult people.

In past there were no advancement when a person became ill after some days or months he died but now there is a lot of treatment to cure people and people are living a longer life .It have many benefits such as when we have any problem we discussed with them and they give us best idea from their past experiences . Morever , they are the greatest blessing in our homes they make our home full of happiness.From my perspective i have granparents and when there is any issue i just discussed with them and i feel very well thats why I say that aged people are greatest blessing for me.

On the other hand, some people believe that aging people creates problems form their opinion it may be right because when people became older there is a lot of change in their behaviour they mind everything and some people cant tolerate it and they send them to old age .Also there are very less resources there are not enough sources for trhem and if population increase day by day it became problem.

So i concluded that aged people are blessing for me.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear position that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides by discussing older people’s experience as well as changes in behaviour and pressure on resources. The personal example about consulting your grandparents is relevant, but the benefits are mostly asserted rather than explained in detail. The disadvantages are also brief and general: for example, you mention that some families send older people to care homes and that resources may be insufficient, without explaining the wider effects on governments or society. The conclusion repeats your view but does not weigh the two sides. The response is 17 words below the required minimum, so there is limited space for developing your reasons and examples. Add specific explanations and a fuller comparison of the advantages and disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting your view, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “On the other hand” help signal a change in viewpoint. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several ideas run together, particularly in the paragraph beginning “In past there were no advancement.” The opening also combines the background and your position without clearly setting out the essay’s direction. Some linking is repetitive or mechanical, and references such as “it” in “it may be right” are not fully clear. Use separate sentences to develop one main point at a time, and make the relationship between each example and your argument explicit. A more informative conclusion would also bring the discussion together rather than simply repeat your opinion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “aging population,” “past experiences,” “resources,” and “old age,” and your meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, such as “people,” “problem,” and “blessing.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, including “knowlegde,” “granparents,” and “advancement” where “medical advances” would be more natural. Phrases such as “they mind everything” and “best idea” do not express your intended meaning precisely. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations. For example, you could describe older people as a source of “practical wisdom” and explain that an aging population may increase “pressure on public services.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “It have many benefits,” “when people became older,” and “aging population creates problems,” where the verb forms or article use need correction. The long sentence beginning “In past there were no advancement” also joins several ideas without clear punctuation, making it harder to follow. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a supporting clause, and check subject–verb agreement and tense consistency. For instance, “It has many benefits” and “when people become older” would be more accurate forms.

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