Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In several parts of the world, humans tend to have a longer life than before. Some people argue that population with more elderly people cause problems for the government whereas others believe in the benefits of having older people in the society. Although ageing population can place considerable amount of pressure o public healthcare system, it provides the society with people of wisdom, knowledge and skills.

The main disadvantage of a population with more older people is the pressure on healthcare system. As a person grows old, there are increased chances developing of age-related illness, hence the requirement of treatment also increase. For example, government may need to allocate more funding to hospitals and community care services for older citizens. Furthermore, in ageing population there is a significant amount of pressure on the pension system. As in many countries the standard retirement age is 60 years, so government usually pays pension to older citizens to support them financially. Consequently, the rising cost of healthcare and increasing demand for pension can make it difficult for the government to finance other public services.

On the positive side, older citizens have alot to contribute to the society interms of wisdom, knowledge and skills. Many people are productive and active and are asset for the economy and society even in old age. For example, they can mentor younger generations by teaching them with useful life skills and sharing their knowledge with them. Older citizens also help by taking care of their grandchildren, thereby reducing pressure on the parents who works full-time.

The advantages of having aged population outweighs its negatives, as older citizens are more wise, skillful and experienced.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of healthcare and pension costs is relevant, and the examples of mentoring and childcare help explain how older people can benefit society. This meets the core requirements well. However, the comparison is not fully developed: the conclusion says older people are “more wise, skillful and experienced,” but does not explain why these contributions outweigh the substantial public costs described earlier. Some claims, such as the retirement age being 60 “in many countries,” are also broad and would be stronger with a specific or qualified example. Develop the weighing of the two sides more explicitly to make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on benefits, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Consequently,” and “On the positive side” help signal relationships between ideas. The examples are generally placed alongside the points they support. To make the organisation more flexible and cohesive, connect the final judgement more directly to the comparison developed in the body paragraphs; the conclusion currently repeats the benefits without referring to the costs. Some transitions, particularly “As in many countries… so,” make the relationship between clauses feel mechanical. Use a wider range of sentence links and clearer referencing to improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “age-related illness,” “community care services,” “pension system,” and “mentor younger generations.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and some phrases show an attempt to use more precise language. However, there are several inaccurate or informal choices that limit precision, such as “alot,” “interms,” “aged population,” and “more wise.” Collocations also need attention: “pressure o public healthcare system” appears to contain a typing error, while “asset for the economy” needs a more natural form. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary for weighing costs against contributions would also strengthen the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“Although…”) and a result clause beginning “thereby.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the paragraph structure helps the reader follow the argument. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “there are increased chances developing” needs a grammatical pattern such as “there is an increased chance of developing,” and “the requirement of treatment also increase” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “the parents who works full-time,” the verb should agree with the plural noun. Articles and sentence construction also need checking in phrases such as “pressure on healthcare system.” Review agreement, articles, and verb patterns to improve accuracy while retaining your complex structures.

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