Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In several countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Therefore, individuals believe that aging population develops issues for governments, while others believe that more old age people are benificial for society. However, this essay will provide both pros and cons.

On the brighter side, againg population has various kind of advantages on the society. Elderly people share their knowledge and personal experiences with new generation and help them in making better decisions. Grandparents help the parents while caring their children. Moreover, the pass their traditional culture to their new generation and taught them about cultural values. Grandparents aslo provide financial support, teach children good manners and moral values.

Growing population of elderly individuals have some disadvantages on the government. Government have to provide more medical facilities because old age poeple wants medicla treatments so government may need to spend more money on the healtcare for elderly citizens. Furthermore, adults may find it difficult to balance their job as well as caring their aged parents. Another disadvantage to government is providing penssion for a long period and other facilites like free public transport

In conclusion, increasing population of elderly individuals have many benefits on the society. Overall, the growing population of old age people have more pros than cons.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear final view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The points about grandparents sharing experience, helping with childcare and passing on cultural values are relevant, as are the costs of healthcare and pensions. However, these ideas are mostly listed rather than explained with examples or detail, and the essay does not fully develop how the benefits compare with the government and family burdens. The introduction says the essay will present both sides but does not establish your position clearly until the conclusion. The response is 201 words, so it is 49 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop your argument. Add specific examples and explain why the advantages are more significant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is limited because points are often added as a list rather than linked through explanation. The opening phrase “On the brighter side” signals a contrast, but the next paragraph’s shift to disadvantages is abrupt, and the conclusion repeats the overall view without drawing together the comparison. Some references, such as “they” in “Moreover, the pass,” are unclear. Develop each main point in a logical sequence and use linking phrases to show how examples support your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “personal experiences,” “cultural values,” “medical facilities” and “financial support.” These phrases show that you can communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the reader pause. For example, “old age people” is not a natural way to refer to older people, and “aging population develops issues” is an awkward collocation. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “benificial,” “againg,” “medicla” and “penssion.” Aim to use accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms with precise alternatives will make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the introduction and a reason clause in “because old age poeple wants medicla treatments.” However, errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent: “population … have” and “Government have” should use singular agreement, while “people … wants” should use a plural verb. There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “aging population” and “Grandparents aslo provide financial support, teach children…” where the intended subject and list of actions need clearer control. Work on agreement, articles and complete, well-punctuated sentences, then practise combining clauses accurately.

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