Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

in recent years, increase in aging populations is crucial debating topic among some people. it is belived that aging population can help society by teaching life lessons to youngsters. however, in my view aging population can become a way of spending extra money to provide them services.

the primary reason why i dont belive in aging population is that, goverment needs to spend huge amount on subsidy for these people as they can not work and earn for their lifes due to their ages. which is nightmare for a country or goverment which already is dealing with economical crisis. for example, goverment of pakistan decided not to give pentions to the retired people as countries overall economy isnt that much stable to facilitiate those people.

another compelling reason that supports diadvantages of aging population over advantages is, younger generation can contribute more in economy by strat ups and new innovation. for instance mostly people in pakistan are teenagers and they are now pushing the needle for betterment of economy by their ideas and innovations.

in conlucision, although people believe aging poppulation is necessary for youth,cultural and traditional prospective which is true but in this modren world we seen alot of change in economy, businees and techonolgy which needs youth to jump in. however i complety diagree with the fact of aging population. as for me youth brings plenty of opportunites for goverment and it clearly outweigh the advantages of aging people as their contributions can not be more beneficial than young generation for goverment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear overall position that the disadvantages of an aging population outweigh its benefits, and you give relevant reasons: the cost of supporting retired people and the economic contribution of younger people. The Pakistan examples help make these points more concrete. However, the response addresses the comparison only partially. The benefits mentioned in the introduction and conclusion—older people sharing life lessons and preserving cultural traditions—are not developed or weighed against the disadvantages. The claim about pensions is also presented as a broad example without explaining its context or consequences. Develop both sides and explain why your chosen side is stronger, rather than mainly asserting that youth is more beneficial.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the body paragraphs each focus on a main reason. Linking expressions such as “for example,” “another compelling reason” and “in conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression is limited because the essay largely repeats the view that younger people benefit the economy, while the opposing view is not explored in a separate, developed point. Some connections are awkward or unclear, particularly the shift from the claim about government spending to the example of Pakistan’s pension decision. Use clearer topic sentences, explain how each example supports its point, and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “aging population,” “subsidy,” “retired people,” “economy,” and “innovations,” and you attempt more specific expressions such as “pushing the needle.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice or spelling errors make parts of the argument difficult to read, including “pentions,” “facilitiate,” “strat ups,” and “diagree.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “spending extra money to provide them services” and “cultural and traditional prospective.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms such as “people” and “betterment” with precise language about pensions, public services, productivity and economic growth would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “as they cannot work” and a concession beginning “although people believe.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, “the primary reason … is that, government needs” has an unnecessary comma and an incomplete construction before the following sentence fragment, while “it clearly outweigh the advantages” has a subject–verb agreement error. Capitalisation and sentence starts are also inconsistent. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check verb agreement, articles and punctuation before adding subordinate clauses.

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