Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The life span of people in many countries have increased. Some people think an aging population creates problems, while others argue that having more elderly people is good for society.

An increasing number of elderly people might create workforce shortage in a country. Elderly people might not be able to work after some time because of their increasing age or health condition and as a large proportion of the population is elderly there might be no one to do their job. This not only creates workforce shortage but also burdens the elderly people. They have to keep working even when they get old as there are not enough young people to do the job. For instance, in a country with a balanced population, the elderly people can retire and the young people can take over and do the jobs or fill the positions left empty by the elderly but in a country, where the percentage of elderly people is high than young people they might have to work for a longer period of time as their is no young people to fill their positions.

However, there are many advantages of having more elderly people in society. Some people might argue that an aging population creates workforce shortage but such people are ignoring the rich and invaluable experince older people bring to workplace. If proper arrangements are made older people can work part-time with flexible schedule and bring their life long experience with them to the work place. This experience can help companies run in a better way and earn more profits. These elderly people might have more experience in handling clients and have more connections that might help the company. Older people also help preserve one's culture and insigate these cultural values in the younger generation, which otherwise would have lost it's culture and tradition.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and make your preference clear by presenting the advantages of older people as meaningful, especially their workplace experience and role in preserving culture. The workforce-shortage point is relevant and supported with a comparison between balanced and aging populations. However, the response does not directly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages in a clear concluding judgement, and the benefits are less fully explained than the drawback. For example, the claim that experience helps companies earn more profits needs a specific explanation or example, while cultural preservation is introduced briefly. Develop each main point with a concrete illustration and state explicitly whether the benefits outweigh the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on a disadvantage, and a paragraph on advantages. Linking expressions such as “However,” “For instance,” and “This not only…but also” help show relationships between ideas. The progression is generally understandable, although the first body paragraph’s example becomes lengthy and repeats the idea that there are too few young workers to replace retirees. Some references are also unclear, such as “such people” and “these elderly people,” and the essay ends without a concluding paragraph to bring the comparison together. Use shorter, more focused examples, make references explicit, and add a conclusion that summarises your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “workforce shortage,” “flexible schedule,” “life long experience,” and “preserve one’s culture.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and attempts at more specific language suit the topic. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “insigate these cultural values,” “balanced population,” and “fill the positions left empty.” There are also spelling errors such as “experince” and “it's” where the possessive form is intended. These do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision. Check spelling carefully and choose more natural collocations, such as “instil cultural values” and “fill vacancies.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “as,” and “while,” and most of the argument remains understandable. However, there are some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “The life span of people … have increased” should use a singular verb, and “higher than young people” needs a clearer comparison structure. In “as their is no young people,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the sentence is difficult to control because several ideas are joined together. The long example beginning “For instance, in a country…” would be clearer as two or three sentences. Review agreement and use punctuation to manage complex sentences.

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