Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Yes I think that it is beneficial for us that we are having our aging population and this has no outweighs the population because there are many things in our life that we do not know and they have many expierences which we do not have so they tell us many that things in which we are facing many problems because they have many expierences. So I think that they are very talented and very intelligent so have our olders in our life. They know many organic medicines about many problems and also they do not have affets on our body. So all these things are very important for me thats why i want that i need our olders in our life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You take a clear position in favour of an aging population, and you give relevant reasons: older people can share experience and knowledge of traditional medicines. However, the response addresses the question only minimally. It does not explain the disadvantages or compare them with the benefits, so it is unclear to what extent the advantages outweigh the problems for governments and society. The ideas about experience and medicine are repeated rather than developed with explanations or examples. The response is also 128 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to address all parts of the task. To improve, discuss at least one disadvantage, weigh it against your benefits, and support each point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response has a recognisable overall direction: it begins with your opinion and then gives reasons for valuing older people. Basic links such as “so” and “also” help connect some points. However, the ideas are presented as one long paragraph, with little clear progression, and several points repeat the same claim about older people’s experience. Phrases such as “they tell us many that things” make the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Use linking expressions to show contrast and cause, and make sure each sentence adds a distinct point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “aging population,” “experiences,” “intelligent,” and “organic medicines.” This gives the response a basic range connected to the topic. However, vocabulary is repetitive, especially “many” and “experiences,” and some word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “our olders” and “they do not have affets on our body.” “Organic medicines” may not express the intended idea clearly; “traditional remedies” would be more precise if that is what you mean. Spelling and capitalisation also need attention, including “expierences,” “affets,” and “i.” Build a wider set of topic-specific terms and check collocations and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses with “because” and “so,” and the reader can generally identify your central opinion. However, sentence structures are mostly simple or joined into long, loosely controlled sentences, so the range is limited. There are recurring errors in clause construction and word order, for example, “this has no outweighs the population” and “they tell us many that things.” The opening sentence also combines several ideas without clear punctuation, making it difficult to follow. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add controlled complex structures using “although,” “because,” and “while.” Check that each clause has a clear subject and verb, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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