Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Medicines and many other technologies have helped alot to increase the life spain from 40-55 to 70-80 . Having elder people are blessing for religious families and elder people have an experience of hoe to live a peaceful and pure life.they could guide abiout our good or bad habits and can tell us about the facts and figures which will help us to lead a successful life.Firstly, the elder people helps us and give us tips and advices to lead a successful life. Secondly, the elder people are polite and kind in their doings and they teaches us through their experiances that how we have to take descion.Thirdly, they take a complete chreck on their childrens and then advice them how to move in society and between people.As my grandfather had advised me to be honest and patient in every situation and by following his advice, i remain patient towards every situation and honest in every circumstances I have gain the confidence and good repute in my circle . Fourthly , having elders is like a blessing for everyone as i was only nine when my father died ,then i got the fatherly affection from my grandfather and he guided me in every feild of life.He guided me to choose and decide everything which gives me mental peace and peaceful life.As i was worried about getting an admission in university for BBA and i have a medical background , at that time he said to me that do what you l;ike the most and suites your temprament and his words do a work of medicine for me in my stressful phase. A country having aging people have the great people whon could guide them in every field of life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response gives a clear positive view of older people, supported by personal examples about your grandfather’s advice and emotional support. These examples explain why you value elderly people, but the task asks you to weigh their advantages against the problems they may create for governments. The disadvantages—such as increased healthcare and pension costs or a smaller working-age population—are not discussed, and the essay does not clearly state whether the advantages outweigh those disadvantages. As a result, the task is only partially addressed and the main ideas remain one-sided. To improve, present both sides and make a direct comparison before reaching a clear conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a recognisable sequence, using “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Thirdly,” and “Fourthly” to introduce reasons, and the grandfather anecdotes provide some development. However, the points largely repeat the idea that older people offer guidance, so the essay does not build a balanced argument or progress towards a conclusion. There are no clear paragraphs separating the introduction, main discussion, and conclusion, and the final sentence introduces a broad claim rather than summarising a weighed position. Some links are also awkward, such as “As my grandfather had advised me…” following the list. Group related ideas into paragraphs, use transitions to show contrast, and end by answering the question directly.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary, including “experience,” “guide,” “admission,” “mental peace,” and “stressful phase,” and the personal examples make your meaning generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “tips and advices” is not a natural phrase, “take a complete chreck on their childrens” is unclear, and “do a work of medicine” does not express the intended comfort naturally. Spelling errors such as “experiances,” “descions,” and “temprament” also distract the reader. Build a wider set of precise terms for both benefits and costs of an aging population, and check spelling and common word combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts some longer sentences and uses clauses to explain personal experiences, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in phrases such as “Having elder people are blessing,” “the elder people helps us,” and “they teaches us.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable: several ideas run together, particularly in the long account of your grandfather’s advice, making relationships between clauses difficult to follow. There are attempts to use subordinate clauses, but complex sentences are often faulty, while sentence patterns are repetitive. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and divide long sentences into shorter units before adding more complex structures.
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