Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, Mortality rates decreases among elder people. In many countries majority of people are reaching there maximum life span than before. Some people assist that this creates financial burden on government, whereas others argue that it may benifit society. This essay will analyse the benifical side of this issue. I firmly believe that the latter outweigh the former.

One of the essential benefits of old people is that, they contribute in cultural significance in various religions. As these people have witnessed them practically they can convey them in a better way than others. To clarify this, Senior citizens in China helps with traditional and cultural practices, which inturns provide cultural knowledge not only to interanational tourist but also to youngsters of their country. This provides in bulding sense of belonging among the society.

Moreover, aging population encourage morals among children by sharing short stories with great morals. This help the children to learn essential habbits which can be practically implemented. For instance, folktales and fantasy stories narrated by grandparents hold vital role in shapping good behaviour of their grandchildrens, such as pari o ki kahaniya, which helps children to distinguish between good and bad in their life. Therefore, children behave with maturity prior to their age, which is a plus point in betterment of society.

However, aging population negatively impact goverment, as increase in population leads to increase in expenditure which hardens burden on the rulling parties as to provide pension to more persons.

In conclusion, today population of senior people surged from before, which provides advantages to the society by promoting culture and encouraging morals. From my prespective, its pluses outnumbers the minuses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of an ageing population outweigh the costs, and you give relevant reasons involving cultural knowledge and children’s moral development. The examples about senior citizens in China and grandparents telling folktales help illustrate these points. You also acknowledge a disadvantage—greater government spending on pensions—so both sides of the question are addressed. However, the advantages receive much fuller treatment than the disadvantage, which is mentioned briefly without explaining its wider effects or weighing it directly against the benefits. Some claims, such as elderly people helping children behave maturely, would be more convincing with clearer explanation or evidence. Develop the comparison between social benefits and public costs more explicitly to make your argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting advantages, a paragraph on a disadvantage, and a conclusion. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers recognise the direction of the argument. This coherent arrangement meets the expected standard, and the paragraphs generally have identifiable central ideas. To make progression more fluent, reduce reliance on formulaic transitions and connect each example more directly to the claim it supports. Some references are also unclear, as in “As these people have witnessed them practically,” where “them” does not clearly identify what has been witnessed. More precise referencing and smoother links between explanation and example would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “cultural significance,” “financial burden,” “pension,” and “sense of belonging,” and these choices help communicate the main ideas. There is also some effort to use less common expressions, such as “folktales” and “distinguish between good and bad.” However, the range is limited by repeated general terms such as “benefits,” “society,” and “people,” while several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to interpret: “contribute in cultural significance,” “hardens burden,” and “plus point in betterment.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “benifit,” “interanational,” and “shapping,” are noticeable. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully so your intended meaning is consistently clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, including clauses beginning “As these people…” and “which helps children…”. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “Mortality rates decreases” has subject–verb disagreement, and “Senior citizens in China helps” has the same issue. Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “One of the essential benefits of old people is that, they contribute…”; the comma after “that” is unnecessary, and the clause is not formed naturally. Other examples include “aging population negatively impact” and “its pluses outnumbers,” where agreement is incorrect. Work on agreement, articles, and punctuation, while practising accurate complex sentences; this will make your ideas easier to read without limiting your range.

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