Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

in todays world, people in many countries have longer ages than ever before. and by this there are some people belives that an aging population can leads to problems for the goverments and others think that there will be benefits if the society has more eldarly people. I will argue both statment and give reasons and example for both cases.

the advantages of having the elderly within our soceities is that we lack wisdom and guidance in our dialy lives, and most of us we need our elders to teach us the lives and transfar thier experiences to these generations to overcome some challanges may we face. furthermore, they will support raising their grand children with manners and gratitiude nd prepare them for upcoming live challanges, as well as they deserve to be in homes they fought for during all these years and they can get the support they need from their childrens and extened families

having elder people in soceity also has some disadvantages, as they need more care, accompany time and spacial medical attension. this spacial requirement can force some familes to go for other options which is govermental care. as a result, government will be in real challanges to create safer and well maintained facilites to take care of them. from living facilities, health facilities, intertimment and salaries for sitters.

in concluation, elderly people can have benfit for thier societies by providing extended life experience for thier families, support for raising thier grand childrens as well as thier rights to be in homes they have created and thier families should provide unlimited support for them. in the same time there is also can be challanges for the government if the families can handle thier elderly people and take them to the governmental adoption facilities, where the government will be in place to take care of them which is require alot of budgets.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question, giving possible social benefits—older people can share experience and help with grandchildren—and government costs related to care and medical facilities. However, the response does not clearly answer the key question of how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The introduction says you will discuss both sides, and the conclusion repeats them, but neither establishes a definite comparative position. Several ideas are also asserted rather than explained: for example, the claim that elderly people “deserve to be in homes they fought for” is unclear, and the benefits of their guidance are not illustrated with a specific example. State your judgement directly and develop fewer points with clearer explanations and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph on benefits, one on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the two sides, and transitions such as “furthermore,” “as a result,” and “in conclusion” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The benefits paragraph moves from wisdom to childcare and then to housing rights without clearly connecting these points, while the disadvantages paragraph ends with a list of facilities and costs rather than developing the consequence. Some references, such as “this special requirement,” are not precise. Organise each paragraph around a clear main idea, then explain its effect before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “wisdom,” “guidance,” “medical attention,” “governmental care,” and “facilities.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both family and public-service impacts. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “longer ages,” “teach us the lives,” “extended life experience,” and “governmental adoption facilities.” Repeated use of “support,” “challenges,” and “facilities” also limits precision. Spelling errors—including “eldarly,” “soceity,” and “goverments”—are noticeable and sometimes slow the reader. Build a more accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling, word forms, and natural combinations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “as a result” and “as well as,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors. Examples include “an aging population can leads,” “some people belives,” and “they need more care,” where agreement or verb forms are inaccurate. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent: the opening begins with a lowercase letter, and the first paragraph contains a sentence fragment beginning “and by this.” Articles, plurals, and possessives are frequently omitted or misused. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled subordinate clauses.

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