Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people see an aging population as a problem, while others think they are beneficial for the society. I believe the advantages of elderly people outweigh the disadvantages.

People argue that having more elderly people create economic burden on the government. Elderly people can not work and usually depend on the pension given by the government to meet their daily needs. The government uses tax money paid by the younger generation to give pension to the elderly. A country which has more elderly people and less young people would face extensive economic burden while managing economic support for the elderly people because there are more people who need pension than people who pay taxes and if a the country spend most of their bugdet on pensions they would not have enough money to allocate to other departments like education and defense.

However, the advantages of having more elderly people outweights the disadvantages. Older people play a vital role in society because they pass down valuable knowledge, experience, and cultural traditions to younger generations. Younger generations can learn from experience and build successful businesses. Older people can save them from not making the same mistakes they made and teaching them the strategies that worked for them. Older generation can also teach them how to make relationship with the clients and vendors as they have spent years learning it. For instance, a part-time older employee can teach the younger employees how to attract customers as they already have experience. Another important role that elderly people play is passing dowm cultural traditions to younger generations. They teach the young ones about their culture and pass down all the traditions to them by celebrating these traditions with them. For instance, a family that goes to their grandparents house for celebrating a certain diwali might hold a special place for it and even continue this tradition with their own children.

From the above discussion we can conclude that having more older people in society has advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both sides by explaining the pressure pensions can place on public finances and the contributions older people make through sharing experience and cultural traditions. These are relevant, supported points, including the examples of workplace mentoring and celebrating Diwali with grandparents. The economic argument is more fully explained than the benefits: the discussion of knowledge-sharing repeats similar ideas, while other possible benefits are not explored. To strengthen the response, develop fewer points in greater depth and explain more explicitly why the social benefits outweigh the financial costs you identify. This would make the comparison central to the argument throughout, rather than mainly asserted in the introduction and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on the disadvantage, a paragraph on advantages, and a concluding statement. The contrast signalled by “However” helps readers follow the shift in argument, and examples generally appear after the points they support. The progression within the advantages paragraph is less controlled: workplace knowledge, client relationships, and cultural traditions are all included in one long paragraph, with some repetition of the idea that older people pass knowledge to younger people. Several sentences are also lengthy, making the relationships between ideas harder to track. Use clearer topic sentences and divide or sequence the benefits more deliberately. Referencing could also be more precise, so phrases such as “them” and “these traditions” have an unmistakable antecedent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss the topic, including “economic burden,” “allocate,” “valuable knowledge,” “cultural traditions,” and “younger generations.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and the examples make the vocabulary relevant to the task. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “beneficial for the society,” “make relationship with the clients,” and “pass down all the traditions.” Spelling errors such as “outweights,” “dowm,” and “bugdet” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. You could also vary repeated references to “elderly people” and “younger generations” with suitable alternatives, while ensuring that alternatives remain precise and respectful.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex structures, including a conditional sentence beginning “A country which has more elderly people…” and clauses explaining how older people can support younger workers. The overall meaning is usually clear, but some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “having more elderly people create” needs subject–verb agreement, and “if a the country spend” contains an article error and an incorrect verb form. The long sentence about pension spending also joins several ideas in a way that makes it difficult to control accurately. Review agreement and verb forms, and break long sentences into shorter units where needed. More consistently accurate complex sentences would make the argument easier to read.

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