Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are many countries and people say that people live now more longer than who live before. some persons say old people creates problem for the governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more old people.

In addition, there are alot of advantages of elderly people like if anyone have their old people so that is so helpful for the person because id person go on the job and person also have a child so the old people protect their child and also do some major work like they do gardening at home and also they are beneficial for the society because they all day live in the house and also protect their own houses some time they communicate with another elder person outside at their home.

Furthermore, there are alot of disadvantages as some people say that government give them alot of pension and thats goes from our income and they creates problem like they are very sensible if they are suffring from any type of illness they also engage you with them although they are also problem for the government like government give them alot of benefit like house benefit reducing in many transports and also get back money which they give in the tax where countries GDP go down and some people thinks hire a nurse for them and they are also increase one more expence in their daily life.

In conclusion, elder people have the same rights which we also take from government and one day every one become elder so also care about our own selfs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question by mentioning family support and practical help from older people, as well as pension costs, healthcare needs and government benefits. However, the response does not clearly answer the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the conclusion says older people have equal rights and deserve care, but does not compare the two sides or state a clear extent. Several points are also difficult to interpret or remain undeveloped, such as the claim that older people help society by staying at home. To strengthen the response, state your position directly and explain which side is more significant, supporting each main point with a clear example or explanation. The response meets the stated length requirement; 11 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, one on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the broad stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is weak, and ideas are often joined in long strings with repeated connectors such as “and also” and “like.” For example, the advantages paragraph moves from childcare to gardening, house protection and socialising without explaining how these points connect or which is most important. The disadvantages paragraph similarly combines pensions, illness, transport benefits and nursing costs. Use one clear topic sentence per paragraph, group related points, and develop each with an explanation or example. Clearer referencing and fewer repetitive linkers would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “pension,” “government,” “illness,” “benefit” and “GDP,” so the reader can recognise the main subject areas. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or collocations make ideas unclear. Phrases such as “old people creates problem,” “they are very sensible” and “one more expence” do not express the intended meanings naturally; “sensible” may be confused with “sensitive,” while “expense” is misspelled. Repeated use of “alot,” “also” and “like” limits precision. Build a more accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For instance, use “older adults,” “place a financial burden on governments,” and “caregiving costs” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses basic linking structures, but grammatical control is weak and errors are frequent enough to make several sentences difficult to understand. Examples include “people live now more longer,” “old people creates problem,” and “they creates problem,” which show problems with comparison, agreement and sentence formation. Articles and pronouns are also inconsistent, as in “if anyone have their old people” and “person also have a child.” Long sentences joined by “and” often lack clear boundaries, while punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using controlled clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries during revision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.