Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is considerable debate these days that people have higher average life than in past, so the elder population put burden on the states, while others argue that they are beneficial for society. I think having elderly population assist society with their sizeable experience and leadership qualities.

In the developed countries, average age of people is higher than in the developing countries. One of the several reasons is, having excellent work life balance and better health system in the modern countires. Elderly population helps country with their years of experiences. They have experienced every crisis, and they know ways to come out of it. Young adults can learn from them. They have good leadership qualities, which can be helpful for a country. For instance, every developed country has more aging population than under developed countries. That shows, older population has helped more than youth in development of a country.

However, other group of people argue that aging population creates problems for governments. They say that elderly have many physical and mental health diseases.They put extra burden on the health system. Governments are spending millios of dollars on them through shelter homes The aging population who hold offices, is occupying the offices, and they do not let the juniors to come their positions. Additionally, they run the businesses with outdated and traditional approach. However, all the successful companies have their CEO's who age more than 50. So elderly people are contributing more towards country than the unexperienced youth.

In conclusion, youth should get benefit from the experience of aging population, rather than pointing fingers on the elderly

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe older people benefit society through experience and leadership, and you acknowledge concerns about healthcare costs and employment opportunities for younger people. This addresses both sides of the question. However, the response does not fully weigh whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the conclusion says young people should learn from older people, but does not directly compare the scale of the benefits and costs. Some support is also under-developed. For example, the claim that developed countries have more elderly people and this proves they have contributed more to development is not sufficiently explained and risks confusing correlation with cause. Develop a specific example and explain how it supports your judgement about the balance of advantages and disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a paragraph discussing concerns, and a conclusion. Contrast markers such as “However” help signal the shift between viewpoints. Nevertheless, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are placed together without clear links. In the benefits paragraph, the discussion moves from life expectancy to crisis experience, leadership, and national development without explaining the connections. The opposing paragraph also shifts from healthcare to offices and business practices, then counters these points with CEO ages. Use clearer topic sentences and develop one main idea at a time. More precise referencing and transitions would also make the argument less repetitive and easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “health system,” “leadership qualities,” and “outdated and traditional approach.” These choices make the subject clear, and there is an attempt to use more formal language. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, as in “higher average life,” “elderly population assist society,” and “come out of it.” Spelling errors such as “countires” and “millios” also reduce accuracy. Some expressions are repeated, particularly “aging population” and “country,” limiting flexibility. Build a more precise range for discussing demographic effects, and check common collocations and spelling. For example, use “life expectancy” rather than “average life,” and “place pressure on public services” rather than “put burden on the states.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “the aging population who hold offices” and a contrast structure beginning “while others argue.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “people have higher average life,” “Elderly population helps,” and “the aging population … is occupying the offices,” where articles, agreement, or sentence construction need attention. There are also problems with plural forms and punctuation, such as “diseases.They,” and the sentence about governments spending money on shelter homes is incomplete or unclear. Review article use with general groups, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries. Aim to make complex sentences accurate before adding further complexity.

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