Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many nations, there have become increasing number of people who are now living longer than ever before. Although there are certain aspects where the aging population are consider as burden for the governments have certain disadvantages. I believe that its advantages outweigh disadvantages because having elderly people who could teach certain life values and etiquettes are essential for upbringing of people. My stance with the explanation and example is discussed further.

On the one hand, having elderly individuals living longer than ever before is beneficial in the aspects were we can make our future generation more civilized. Additionally, elderly people could teach younger generation about values and etiquettes that are essential for personality development and character build-up through their own experiences and beliefs. In this way we will be able to make our future generation more civilized and accountable. For instance, grand-parents living with their grand-children will teach them important life lessons and will give them upbringing that will help them to become responsible citizen.

On the other hand, elderly people can help young adults across various sectors of jobs with their experience and skills. However, being older doesn't mean that they might bring certain burden for government but we can utilise their knowledge, experience and skills about various job approaches. In that way we might be more precise and won't repeat mistakes. For instace, noting elderly people advices and their mistakes might help next generation to look-forward and not to indulge in false-deed again.

In conclusion, although their are certain disadvantages for government about the aging population such giving funds for their expenses and creating programmes for assisted living. I believe that its advantages outweigh disadvantages in greater aspects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides of the question. The points about older people passing on values and sharing workplace experience are relevant, with examples involving grandparents and learning from past mistakes. However, the response only partly develops the comparison: the disadvantages are briefly mentioned as government funding and assisted-living programmes, but their effects are not explained or weighed against the benefits. Some claims, such as elderly people making the next generation “more civilized,” also need clearer reasoning and support. To strengthen the response, explain the scale and consequences of the costs, then show specifically why the social or economic contributions outweigh them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted with “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive: the first body paragraph repeats the idea of making the next generation “more civilized,” while the second moves between workplace contributions and government burdens without a clear distinction. Some linking phrases are awkward or do not express the intended relationship clearly, such as “However” before arguing that older people can be useful. The conclusion also introduces costs that were not developed in the body. Organise each paragraph around one main claim and connect each example directly to that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “assisted living,” “personality development,” and “experience and skills.” These choices show an attempt to discuss social and economic effects. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For example, “false-deed,” “look-forward,” and “in the aspects were” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “grand-parents” is also incorrectly formed. Repetition of “elderly people,” “experience,” and “civilized” limits flexibility. Build a more precise set of phrases for costs, care needs, intergenerational learning, and workplace contribution, and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in “Although…” and a relative clause in “elderly people who could teach…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, the opening has an incomplete construction (“there have become increasing number”), and the introduction’s “Although…” clause does not connect grammatically to the rest of the sentence. There are also agreement and article errors, as in “their are” and “a burden,” as well as problems with verb forms and sentence boundaries. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check subject–verb agreement, articles, and clause connections.

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