Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, it is oftenly argued that now people living longer than even before. Some people believes againg population creates problems for governments. Whereas, other individuals think it is benifical for society to having more elderly people. In my view of point, advantages of having an aging population are far outweigh the disadvanyages because having eldery people is blessing for society and children.

On the one hand, there are many problems which elderly people create and it affect the governments. Firstly, giving pension, In this technology world, governments have to give pension those who retired from job. For example, people who worked in a governmnets under job, they get half of the salary pension without any responsibility, which become burden on governments economy. Secondly, providing free treatment, governments launch a new scheme for elderly people to get free medical checkup and oprations, which creates a lot of problems for government. For example, governments spended $80 million for elderly treatment in last year. Moreover, elderly people affect our economy of country becuase of they getting all the facilities for free.

On the other hand, having elderly peoples in society is very helpful for every peoples. They are helped people in many ways firstly, they teach society childrens to morals and teach about religious talk. In addition, teach children to there boundries and how to respect other persons. Secondly, they help people to make decisons for life and there career because they had more experience in life. For example, help to make bussiness dicisons and family important decisons. Moreover, elderly people help every person in any where because they had more experience and knowledge about life.

In conclusions, it is acceptable that elderly people have some drawbacks but having more population of older age is blessing for society and its having more advantages than there disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the advantages of an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides of the question. The discussion of pension costs and healthcare spending gives relevant reasons for the disadvantages, while older people’s guidance and life experience support your view of the benefits. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that older people teach children morals and respect would be stronger with a specific example of how this benefits society more broadly. The cost examples also need clearer context, and the conclusion mainly repeats your position. Develop the comparison by explaining why the social benefits outweigh the financial pressures and, where possible, support claims with more precise examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The contrast between “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the main direction, and examples are generally placed beside the points they illustrate. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Moreover.” Some links and references are unclear, such as “They are helped people” and “which become burden,” making it harder to see how ideas connect. Group related explanations more smoothly, use pronouns with clear antecedents, and make the conclusion explicitly weigh the two sides rather than simply restating the view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “pension,” “free medical checkup,” “experience,” and “career decisions,” so the main ideas are usually understandable. There are also attempts at more formal expressions, such as “creates a lot of problems” and “burden on governments economy.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise: “oftenly,” “benifical,” “eldery,” and “spended” are examples. Phrases such as “religious talk” and “family important decisons” are also unclear or unnatural. Build a bank of accurate topic collocations, such as “pension expenditure” and “healthcare costs,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “whereas.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning can generally be followed. However, errors in sentence formation and basic grammar recur. For example, “people living longer than even before” lacks a finite verb, “Some people believes” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, and “advantages … are far outweigh” combines incompatible verb forms. Other examples include “it affect the governments” and “they had more experience,” where agreement or tense is not controlled. Work on complete clauses, agreement, articles, and consistent tense; then proofread each sentence to ensure its subject and verb match and its structure is complete.

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