Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the developing countries, people are now living longer in terms of lives compared to the past. While, some believes that growing older is creating problems for the governments and for the society, whereas others think that it is beneficial for the society to have elderly people. Let us determine the reasons before reaching the concrete conclusion.

On the one hand, people say that by having older people, it is creating some problems for the government like giving pension. Government have to give money as a pension to those retired government employees. By doing that, government government cannot spend money elsewhere like education, healthcare, etc. Another reason is providing free treatment, authorities have to introduce a scheme ware the expenses of any treatment or medications taken by any old person should be free, where the expenses should be covered by the government. What i believe that, having elderly people is very beneficial for both society and for the family because they can tell what to do and what not to do from their experience.

On the other hand, many individual believe that by having the elderly people, it will benefit the society by making good decisions. Elder people are good at decision making because of their high experience and can control the society. Moreover, by having elderly people, they can educate the children how to behave with elders, how to respect to anyone and can teach some life lessons to the teenagers. For instance, a child can learn how to respect and behave properly by having grandparents.

In conclusion, elderly people are good for the society in some extent but it will affect in the long run for both society and for the government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question, identifying pension and healthcare costs as disadvantages and the guidance older people can offer as an advantage. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position is not consistently clear: the introduction promises a conclusion, while the final sentence says elderly people are beneficial “in some extent” but also that they “will affect” society and government. This does not establish which side is stronger. The ideas are relevant but remain general; for example, the pension point would be more convincing with an explanation of its scale or a specific example, and the benefits of grandparents are only briefly illustrated. State your judgement clearly and support each main point with fuller reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the contrast between disadvantages and advantages is easy to identify. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Moreover” help signal the structure. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from pension costs to treatment costs and then abruptly to your belief that older people benefit families. The conclusion also does not clearly resolve the comparison set up in the essay. Some connections are repetitive or awkward, including repeated use of “by having elderly people.” Group related points together, use clearer references, and make the final paragraph directly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “pension,” “retired,” “treatment,” “medications,” and “decision making.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “having elderly people” and “good for the society.” Some word combinations are unnatural, for example “living longer in terms of lives” and “control the society,” which can make the intended meaning less clear. Aim for more precise expressions and vary how you refer to older people and their contributions. Check word forms and spelling as well: “individual” should be plural in context, and “ware” appears to be a misspelling of “where.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including a contrast in the opening and clauses introduced by “because” and “where.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “some believes,” “Government have to give,” and “many individual believe,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. The opening fragment “While, some believes…” is not joined correctly to the following clause, and “What i believe that” is an incomplete construction. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “for both society and for the family.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses; proofread agreement, capitalisation and punctuation.

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