Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern society, people are living more than the in the past because of bettre health care and living condition. Some people believe that an increasing number of elderly people creates problems for governments, while others think that older people can benefit society. This essay will discuss both views.

On the one hand, an aging people creates problems for governments. Firstly older people often need more health care and financial supports after retirenment. As a result, governments have to spend more money on hospital, medical and pensions. This can put pressure on the government budget. Secondly, if many people retire, there may be limited workers available to do different jobs. For example, company may find it difficult to hire enough workers, and the government may collect less tax from employees.

On the other hand, older people can also make possitive imapct on the society. Firstly, they have a lot of knowledge and experience that they can share with younger people and chilldren. For example, older workers can teach useful skills to young employees and share knowladge to their grandson. Secondly, many grandparents help their families by looking after children while their parents are at work.This can save money for families and allow parents to focus on their jobs.

In conclusion, older people provide some knowladge and and their past stories to the youngsters. Older people can also support families and share their experience. I believe that governments should provide proper support for elderly citizens while encouraging them to remain active in society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question with relevant points: the costs of healthcare and pensions, possible worker shortages, and the contribution older people make through experience and childcare. Your position is broadly positive about elderly people, especially in the conclusion, but the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion recommends support and active participation without clearly weighing the two sides or stating the extent of your judgement. Some ideas are also less developed than others: the effects on government spending are explained, while the benefits of sharing experience are asserted with limited detail. Make your comparison explicit and develop one or two examples to show why the advantages do or do not outweigh the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing within the body paragraphs is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “For example” help readers track the argument. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. However, the introduction promises to “discuss both views,” which does not quite match the task’s request to weigh advantages against disadvantages, and the conclusion repeats benefits rather than drawing the comparison together. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated “Firstly” and “Secondly.” Use varied transitions and clearer references to connect each example to your overall judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “health care,” “pensions,” “government budget,” “workers,” and “experience.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “put pressure on the government budget” and “looking after children.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “bettre,” “retirenment,” “possitive imapct,” and “knowladge,” and some combinations are unnatural, such as “financial supports” and “older people provide some knowledge and their past stories.” These errors do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases, for example “financial support,” “make a positive contribution,” and “share their knowledge and life experience.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and most ideas remain understandable. For example, the sentence beginning “As a result” clearly explains a consequence, while “if many people retire” introduces a relevant conditional structure. Some grammatical errors remain, however. The opening phrase “people are living more than the in the past” has an incomplete comparison, and “an aging people creates” has a number-agreement problem. There are also missing articles or plural forms in phrases such as “on hospital” and “company may find it difficult,” as well as a missing space after the full stop in “work.This.” These are generally local rather than meaning-blocking errors. Proofread sentence by sentence, especially for articles, singular/plural agreement, and punctuation.

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