Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is oftern debeted whether individuals are now living longer than ever before. Mnay people believe that elderly population creates problems for governments, while other citizen argued that there are benefits if society has more older people. I believe that the advantages of this trend far outweigh of the disadvantages because they help society to make important decision and also they create some problem for governments such as financial and healthcare facilities.

On the one hand, the major disadvantage of aging population is creates many problems for governments. This is because older people generally have a more time than adult people, which can create health problems for governments. In addition, elderly population not only create health problems, but also creates financial problems for governments. For example, governments can help elder people to basic monthly pay rate and provide basic health facilities, which can help to life servival. As a result, governments can more take care and help to older people financially and also healthcare.

On the other hand, the main primary advantage of society if elderly people more in country, which i believe is more prctical approach. This is mainly because when elderly people more in country, they can help society to lieve in together and basic civic sence. Moreover, older people can help society to make important decision and buid new rules in village. For instance, older people can teach children to traditional story, which can help children to lern past things. Consequently, i believe that more elderly people can benefits for society.

In conclusion, although aging population there are certain drawbacks, I believe that the advantages of this trend far outweigh of the disadvantages because they share adult to whole life situation. Therefore, i believe having aging population in country is long-term benefits for society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear overall view: the advantages “far outweigh” the disadvantages. The response also gives relevant examples, such as older people teaching children traditional stories and helping shape community rules. However, the reasoning is only partly developed. The disadvantages paragraph mainly lists government costs for healthcare and financial support, while the benefits are described broadly as helping society make decisions and preserve traditions. The claim that older people have “more time” and therefore create health problems is unclear, and the conclusion’s point about sharing “adult to whole life situation” does not explain the position. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation of how it affects society, and make the comparison between benefits and costs more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the shift between the two sides easy to follow, and examples are placed within the relevant paragraphs. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes weakened by unclear links between claims. For example, the connection between older people having more time and creating health problems is difficult to follow, while “As a result” introduces a point that largely repeats the preceding sentence. The conclusion also repeats the position without clearly synthesising the comparison. Use linking expressions to show precise cause-and-effect relationships, and ensure each sentence advances the paragraph’s central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “aging population,” “financial problems,” “health facilities,” and “traditional story.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing the issue. However, word choice, spelling, and collocation errors are noticeable and sometimes make meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “life servival,” “basic monthly pay rate,” “more practical approach,” and “share adult to whole life situation.” Several key terms are also repeated, particularly “problems,” “help,” and “society,” limiting precision. Work on accurate spelling and natural word partnerships, and choose specific expressions for the intended meaning—for example, distinguish between pension support, healthcare costs, and the transfer of cultural knowledge.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast structure (“although aging population there are certain drawbacks”) and a relative clause (“which can help children…”). However, control is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. Examples include missing verbs or incorrect verb forms in “the major disadvantage … is creates” and “elderly population not only create … but also creates,” as well as incomplete constructions such as “when elderly people more in country.” Articles, agreement, and sentence structure also need attention. Practise building complete clauses with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and articles. More accurate simple sentences would make your ideas clearer before you attempt longer structures.

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