Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Individuals in many countries are living longer because of better medical facility and healthier lifestyles. As a result, the number of elder people is increasing. Although this situation create some problems for government. I believe that experience and knlowledge of older people also valuable.

First of all, the increasing number of aged people can increase spending of governmnet. As people get older, many of them need medical treatment and medicines. In addition, they may need pension after retirement. If they are more elderly people and fewer young workers, it may become difficult to cover these expenses. Consequently, healthcare and pension system may faced great pressure.

On the other hand, elderly people cna be very usefule for the society because they have a great deal of life experience an knowledge. They can give important advice to younger generations and teach them how to deal with difficult situations. Furthermore older people help their children by taking care of their grandchildren. For example, grandparents can look after young children, which gives more time to work. In this way, aged people can also play a positive role for socity and their families.

In conclusion, an aging population can increase healthcare and pension costs. However, the experience and knowledge and support of older people are also crusial. In my opinion, the advantages are outweigh the disadvantages. Government should provide suitable facilities and support for elderly people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: “the advantages are outweigh the disadvantages.” Relevant points include pressure on healthcare and pension systems, older people sharing experience, and grandparents helping with childcare. However, these ideas are brief and not equally developed; for instance, the financial concern is explained, while the benefits are mostly asserted rather than supported with a specific example or fuller explanation. The conclusion repeats the position but does not weigh the two sides in much detail. The response is also 19 words below the required minimum, so it has less space to develop its reasoning. Extend the discussion with a concrete example and explain why the benefits outweigh the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. The progression from costs to social contributions is easy to follow, and signposts such as “First of all,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall arrangement and shows some stronger control through clear paragraphing. To make cohesion more flexible and less formulaic, connect ideas within paragraphs more explicitly and vary the transitions. For example, explain how the childcare example supports the broader claim about older people’s contribution. The opening fragment beginning “Although this situation…” also interrupts the flow; combine it with the following sentence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “medical treatment,” “pension,” “retirement,” “life experience,” and “younger generations.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and there are attempts at more specific expressions such as “healthcare and pension system.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy: “knlowledge,” “governmnet,” “usefule,” “cna,” “socity,” and “crusial.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “elder people” and “great pressure.” Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases. More precise vocabulary for public costs and social contributions would help express the argument with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If they are more elderly people and fewer young workers…” and a relative clause in “grandparents can look after young children, which gives more time to work.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but errors occur in sentence formation, agreement, and verb forms. For example, “Although this situation create some problems” is an incomplete subordinate clause, “healthcare and pension system may faced” has an incorrect verb form, and “the advantages are outweigh” uses an incorrect construction. There are also issues with articles and number, as in “better medical facility.” Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, while retaining the complex structures you are attempting.

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