Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

With the increasing age, the tendency to do work also decreased. Government implement retirement policies for the old age people.There has been a debate over that there are benefits if having more people in a society. While other argued that aging population creates hurdles for government.People's life expectancy has increased over the years. I believe disadvantages clearly outweigh the advantages.

In the recent years, the population of elder individuals has been increasing. People thinks that they are a source of reducing economy of a country. With increasing age, their working capability is also reduced and they get easily sick and often take leaves and becomes a burden on a organization. Although, many companies implement policies for the retirement but some firms give monthly income to them without working. Government also developed policies for the retirement if people aged 55 years. The population of senior citizens also increasing day by day. The jobs for the adults also reduced because the seats already occupied by elder age persons.

Some people argued that older people is beneficial for the society. They play a crucial role in developing the beliefs, characters and moral values of young people. Their advices helped them in living a good life. Due to their existence, everyone get closer to a religion and follow the right path guided by their elders. Although every family has a old person

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view in the introduction: “disadvantages clearly outweigh the advantages,” and you give relevant points about reduced work capacity, retirement costs, and older people passing on values. However, the response only partially fulfils the task because it does not explain the extent of the disadvantages compared with the benefits in a balanced, developed way. The economic points are repeated, while the benefits paragraph focuses mainly on moral guidance and religion and is not weighed against the costs. The final sentence is unfinished (“Although every family has a old person”), so the argument has no proper conclusion. The response is also 22 words below the required minimum. Develop each side with specific examples and finish by restating your judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and linking expressions such as “While” and “Although” show an effort to connect ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because several points repeat, including the increasing number of senior citizens and their reduced work capacity. Connections between claims are sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from retirement policies to competition for jobs without explaining how these points relate. The final paragraph ends abruptly, leaving the essay without a conclusion. Use a clearer sequence within each paragraph—main point, explanation, example—and add a concluding paragraph. Check that linking words express the intended relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “retirement policies,” “working capability,” and “senior citizens,” which helps communicate the subject. The range is nevertheless limited, and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “reducing economy,” “a burden on a organization,” and “the seats already occupied by elder age persons.” Repetition of “population,” “people,” and “elder” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural collocations and precise terms when discussing public spending, employment, and care. For example, describe older people as increasing pressure on public services rather than “reducing economy,” and refer to “job vacancies” rather than “seats.” These changes would make your meaning clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including “While other argued…” and “Although…,” but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include subject–verb agreement (“People thinks,” “everyone get”), article and noun-form errors (“a old person”), and faulty sentence construction (“Although, many companies implement policies for the retirement but…”). Punctuation and spacing also need attention, as in “people.There” and “government.People's.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during proofreading; these corrections will make your ideas easier to follow.

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