Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowdays, people are living longer than before because of improvements in healthcare and living conditions. Although an aging population has some benefits, I believe that its disadvantages outweigh advantages.

To begin with, one major disadvantage is that the government has to spend more money on healthcare services of elder people. As people grow older, they may suffer from various problem in health and required the regular medical treatment. Therefore, the government needs to provide more hospitals, doctors and medicines for elderly citizens.This can increase public spending and create financial pressure on the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a clear position in the introduction: “its disadvantages outweigh advantages,” and you begin to explain one relevant disadvantage, namely increased government spending on healthcare. The example of needing “more hospitals, doctors and medicines” gives this point some support. However, the response does not address the advantages of an aging population at all, and the disadvantage is only briefly developed; there is no explanation of wider effects or a concluding judgement. The required minimum length is not met: the response contains 93 words, which is 157 words short. To improve, discuss both sides, develop each reason with explanation or a relevant example, and finish by weighing the advantages against the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic, understandable structure: an introductory position is followed by a paragraph presenting a disadvantage. Linking phrases such as “Although,” “To begin with,” and “Therefore” show how the ideas relate, and the sequence from health needs to public spending is easy to follow. However, the essay stops before a full progression of ideas is established: there is no paragraph on advantages and no conclusion. Some connections are also quite mechanical, with several sentences in the body following a simple cause-and-effect pattern. Build a clearer essay structure with separate paragraphs for the main arguments and a concluding comparison, and use referencing and transitions to connect ideas across paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main point, including “aging population,” “healthcare services,” “medical treatment,” and “public spending.” These choices make the subject clear, and “financial pressure” is a relevant phrase. However, the range is narrow and some expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “elder people” and “various problem in health.” There are also spelling and spacing issues in “Nowdays” and “elderly citizens.This,” which reduce control of written vocabulary and presentation. Aim for more precise collocations and a wider range of terms for both benefits and costs, such as pension provision, workforce experience, and healthcare demand. Check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate the central ideas using mostly straightforward sentence patterns, and the opening sentence combines a cause with its result clearly. The concessive structure “Although an aging population has some benefits, I believe…” is also a useful attempt at a more complex sentence. However, grammatical control is uneven: “various problem” needs a plural noun, and “may suffer … and required” has an incorrect verb form and does not maintain parallel structure. The phrase “the government has to spend” is understandable, but the response relies heavily on simple statements and offers little variety in clause structures. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and plural forms, then use a wider mix of complex sentences while checking punctuation and spacing.

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