Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent time a lot of people argue that , In many countries people lives longer lifes than the previous ones. While the other people argue aging population leads to trouble for members of government. But there are some othe people which believes that community gain a lot of benefits by having more elderly people. Both ideas have contains specific term of facts that verify the advantage and disadvantage.

Many people in now days are living long lifes than from the previous people and it indicates the sign of intaking excellent and healthy diet in people routine so by apply it daily and they have disease free life almost which is benefical point but some people argue the aging people came trouble for governments and government and families took their care duty and thats make them tired but other thing they are benificial because we can get important information from them and learn from therir experiences throughout the lives and make our mistake low by their advices and by caring them we illustrates the love for everyone.

The advantages overcome the disadvantages because they share along time with their love ones and helping them by sharing their experinces and showing right paths whille in disadvantage we tired by caring them or n

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a position in the final paragraph, stating that “the advantages overcome the disadvantages,” and you mention relevant benefits such as learning from older people’s experience. You also recognise a disadvantage: families and governments may have to care for them. However, the response addresses the question only partially: these points are asserted rather than explained with specific reasons or examples, and the comparison of advantages and disadvantages is not developed. The opening discusses both views but does not establish a clear, sustained argument. The response is 38 words below the required minimum, which further limits the opportunity to develop your ideas. To improve, explain how older people benefit society and why those benefits outweigh the costs, using a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph discussing both sides, and a concluding position. The reader can identify the general topic and your view. However, ideas are not arranged in a clear progression: the second paragraph combines longer life expectancy, diet, government responsibilities, family care, and older people’s advice in one extended sequence. Linking words such as “but,” “because,” and “while” are used, but the relationships between points are sometimes unclear, and the final sentence ends abruptly. Use separate paragraphs for the disadvantages and advantages, then conclude by directly comparing them. Shorter sentences and clearer links between each claim and its explanation would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “government,” “experiences,” and “advantages and disadvantages,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain the reader. Examples include “long lifes,” “benefical,” “therir,” and “experinces.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “intaking excellent and healthy diet” and “make our mistake low.” Aim to learn accurate collocations for this topic and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions would help you explain the effects of population aging without relying repeatedly on general words such as “trouble” and “benefits.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using longer structures, including “While the other people argue…” and “because we can get important information from them,” but control is limited. Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “people lives longer” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “Both ideas have contains” combines incompatible verb forms. Several sentences run together without clear punctuation, particularly the long sentence beginning “Many people in now days…”. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check agreement, tense, and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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