Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Today, In most of the world, people are living more longer than they used to do before. While few individuals think that old adults are beneficial for our society in terms of more experiences and skills, I strongly believe that the drawbacks of having larger older population outweigh its advantages.

One of the major drawbacks of having more aged individuals is the financial burden on the government. A huge amount of taxpayers money is spend on pensions and wellbeing programs for the older people, which can be utilized on many other important issues. For example, a significant amount of budget is allocated by the policy makers to build more and more old-age homes in order to provide shelter to the older people. Although this is a good development for adults, I believe that less money should be spent by the govermnents on such things.

On the other hand, certain people say that the aged individuals are more experienced and skillful in their domains, which act as a guide for the youngsters. New young hires in the corporate sector make more mistakes than the experienced staff. For example, an employee who is a recent graduate, needs a mentor or some kind of guidance in his early career which helps him learn about the job and other responsibilites. Although, having more older employees may have some benefits, younger hires are more motivated to learn new things and perform better than the older ones.

In conclusion, while some people belive that having more old adults in the country is an advantage to the society as they provide mentorship to the young people, I believe that these adults put a huge financial burden on governments, which clearly outweigh the advantages of it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the disadvantages of an aging population outweigh its benefits, and the conclusion restates this view. You also address both sides, discussing government spending on pensions and care, then the value of older workers’ experience and mentorship. The financial argument is relevant, but its development is somewhat narrow: the example of building old-age homes does not fully explain the wider costs or why these outweigh the benefits. The benefits paragraph gives a useful workplace example, yet it shifts toward comparing older and younger employees rather than examining broader social advantages. Develop each main point with clearer explanation and evidence, and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow, and the central position remains consistent. This meets the lower-band expectation for clear organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. However, links within paragraphs can feel mechanical, particularly the repeated “Although” constructions, and some references are not fully clear: “such things” could refer to old-age homes or government spending more generally. The final sentence also repeats the main claim without weighing the two sides in detail. Use more varied, precise links and make relationships between examples and claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “financial burden,” “pensions,” “wellbeing programs,” “experienced staff,” and “mentor.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and attempts at less common expressions show some range. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “more longer,” “larger older population,” and “old adults.” There are also spelling errors, including “govermnents,” “responsibilites,” and “belive,” which reduce accuracy. Some phrases, such as “more and more old-age homes,” are imprecise for an academic argument. Aim for natural collocations and consistent terminology, for example “older people” or “the elderly,” and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening with “While” and a relative clause in “programs for the older people, which can be utilized…”. Most sentences communicate their meaning, and errors rarely prevent understanding. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, however. For example, “a huge amount of taxpayers money is spend” has problems with the possessive form and passive verb, while “which act as a guide” does not agree with the plural subject. The phrase “an employee who is a recent graduate, needs” also has an unnecessary comma, and “Although, having more older employees…” is punctuated incorrectly. Review subject–verb agreement, passive forms, articles, and comma use, while continuing to practise complex sentences.

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