Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern world it is often argued that the increasing aged population of many countries can creat trouble for goverment. While, other's belive that having elderly people in socities can be beneficial.

To begin with disadvantges, there could be couple of disadvantages for goverment if the population of the old aged people keeps on increasing . the possible problem could be the workforce. With the modern world younger workforce are required in the market where older people cannot really fit into those positions leaving a big gap in population and workforce like an old man of aged 80 cannot really do the mechanical or technical jobs that requires critical and digital skills. Another possible threat could include pension where they would be burden on the goverment as they would no longer be working and contributing to the economy by paying taxes but would recieve the heavy pensions which can cause real financial problems for government.

On the flip side the possible benefits that goverment can get from the elderly's might include the volunteer activities where poeple of aged 60 or above work for the local goverment position to contibute something to the society . For instance in china old people clean the walk ways on their own to help the community or take part in local teaching sessions where older people contribute and share their knowledge with youth like the weekly activity that often happens in the northen areas of South Korea where old pharmacist provide crucial medicinal insights to new medical students.

To cap it all, I firmly believe that the disadvantges of the increasing older people population outweight's the advantages at so many levels due to the high threats like taxation, pension and alot more .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position in the conclusion: you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The discussion of workforce shortages and pension costs is relevant, and the examples of older people volunteering and sharing professional knowledge help illustrate possible benefits. However, the advantages are less fully explained than the disadvantages, and the essay does not clearly compare their scale or explain why the benefits cannot offset the costs. Some claims, such as older people being unable to fit into modern jobs, are broad and would benefit from qualification. Develop the comparison and support each main point with a more precise explanation to make your response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a concluding position. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the flip side,” and “To cap it all” make the direction of the argument easy to follow, and the examples are placed alongside the points they support. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, the linking phrases are somewhat formulaic, and the conclusion mainly repeats the position rather than drawing together the comparison. Within paragraphs, connect cause and consequence more explicitly—for example, explain how pension spending affects government budgets and public services.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “workforce,” “pension,” “contributing to the economy,” “volunteer activities,” and “medicinal insights.” These choices make the main ideas understandable and show attempts to discuss the issue beyond basic vocabulary. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “creat,” “goverment,” “socities,” and “outweight's.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “old aged people,” “a big gap in population and workforce,” and “the elderly's.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though the overall meaning remains clear. Aim for accurate forms and natural collocations, and choose precise terms such as “older adults” and “labour-force gap.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “an old man of aged 80 cannot really do… jobs that requires…” and a contrastive opening with “While.” This shows some range, but control is uneven: several sentences contain errors in agreement, articles, or sentence construction. For example, “jobs that requires” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “there could be couple of disadvantages” needs an article. The opening “While, other's believe…” is also not a complete, correctly punctuated clause. These issues recur and can make parts of the argument harder to read. Practise building accurate complex sentences and check agreement, articles, and punctuation before submitting.

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