Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays many countries,people are now living longer than ever befor.Some people say an aging population creates problem for governments.Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.This essay will discuss both perspective and do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

The main advantage of elderly people are now living longer,While old people are very usefull for youngers and child.In addition,recently all the house family members working in the hole day,So that at the time take care home and child by egining people only and olders very important live information,how to manage family in the details only our guided.Furthermore,most of the people night duty and abord working persons at the time onle help for elderly people.I think egining people more important for all the people lives,Because family member defenetly without egining people not survey.

Do the significant disadvantages for government only,Furthermore,most of the countries monthly pay for pention.Monthly pention is part of the amount in goverment,in addition health center provide free service and transportation travel also discount of agining people.Goverment is spent money different ways for elderly people , more than facility also available there.So that government significant problem creates of older peoples.

In summary, people are now living longer than ever before more advantages in the countries.Furthermore significant problems for government agining people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You refer to both sides of the question, mentioning family support from older people and government spending on pensions, healthcare and transport. However, the response does not clearly explain to what extent the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the conclusion says there are “more advantages” but does not weigh them against the costs. Several points are difficult to understand or remain undeveloped, such as older people sharing “live information” and the claim that families cannot “survey” without them. The response is also 69 words below the required minimum; 42 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This leaves too little space to explain and support your position. State your view directly, then develop each main reason with a clear explanation or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph about advantages, one about government costs, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “In addition,” “Furthermore,” and “In summary” signal some relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow, and several sentences do not connect clearly to the point being made. For example, the discussion moves from family members working all day to night-duty workers without explaining the link. The conclusion repeats the topic but does not clearly resolve the comparison. Use one central idea per paragraph, arrange supporting details in a logical order, and make references such as “they” or “this” explicit so readers can follow your reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “aging population,” “pension,” “health center,” and “transportation,” and you attempt to express ideas about family care and public costs. However, the range is basic and several word choices or spellings make the meaning hard to understand. Examples include “egining people,” “live information,” “survey,” and “hole day”; these do not communicate your intended meaning reliably. There are also inaccurate combinations such as “monthly pay for pention” and “significant problem creates.” Build a bank of accurate topic phrases, such as “older adults provide childcare” and “pension expenditure,” and check spelling and collocation. More precise vocabulary would help you express your ideas without relying on unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a reason introduced by “Because” and a sentence beginning “While.” However, sentence boundaries and grammatical relationships are often unclear, which sometimes obscures your meaning. For example, “The main advantage of elderly people are now living longer,While old people are…” combines incomplete or mismatched clauses, while “Do the significant disadvantages for government only” is not a complete, clear sentence. Agreement and sentence construction also need attention, as in “The main advantage … are.” Punctuation is frequently missing or misplaced, particularly around commas and full stops. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences first, then join related ideas with accurate conjunctions and punctuation.

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