Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is stated that in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. However, in my opinion, while I believe, society has more elderly people extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays people are now living longer than ever before. When it comes to positive benefits, accourding to our recent research 80% of young mothers and fathers are full time employed and busy with their work. Due to this reason parants can't give to full attention and it's difficult to take care of their child. Therefore, if granparants can take care of grandchildren, parants can give full attention on their work. Consequently, this leads to increase productivity and economic grow as well. Not only that, but also, more elderly people have hudge knowledge. So, young generation can gain their knowledge as well as the life experiences. Meanwhile, children can get help for their studies through grandparants. In addition, elderly people have many life experiences, wisdom and vision than young generation. So, children can applying those ideas and advices to business, daily work and get right decision.
An aging population gets some drawbacks for the government. It may negatively impact for the government. For example, govenment have to allocate financial assistance for elderly people. In addition, elderly people have lot of physical and mental dificulties on their age.Because of that, govenment needs to spend funds and medicines. Although, govenment have to address the elder care home as well. Overall, it is an extra cost for the govenment.
In conclusion, elderly people are get more benifits for young generation and the governmet. At the same time people are living longer than ever before gets some drwabacks for the govenment. However, elderly people extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You present relevant advantages, especially grandparents helping working parents and older people sharing knowledge and experience, and you acknowledge government costs such as financial assistance and care. However, the response only partially answers the central question: the introduction and conclusion repeat the task wording, and neither gives a clear, complete judgement about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The benefits are more fully described than the drawbacks, but the claims remain general; for example, the reference to research about employed parents is not explained or supported with a specific example. Develop both sides with clearer reasoning, then state and maintain a direct comparison and conclusion. The 65 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from the assessed response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on costs, and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the main topics. However, progression within paragraphs is often repetitive or loosely connected: several sentences repeat that elderly people have knowledge and experience, while “So,” “In addition,” and “Although” do not always express the relationship accurately. The conclusion also repeats the question rather than drawing the discussion together. Use topic sentences that establish each paragraph’s main point, group related examples, and make the links between cause and result explicit. Clearer referencing and more purposeful transitions would make the organisation easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial assistance,” “productivity,” “economic growth,” and “life experiences,” so the reader can understand the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise, such as “hudge knowledge,” “get right decision,” and “elder care home.” Repeated use of “government,” “elderly people,” and “benefits” also limits variety. Aim to learn accurate topic-specific phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully. More natural expressions would help you explain the effects of an aging population precisely without changing the meaning of your ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses to explain reasons and results, for example, “Due to this reason parents can't give…” and “Therefore, if grandparents can take care…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation and agreement can make meaning difficult to follow. The opening opinion sentence is especially unclear, and forms such as “children can applying” and “elderly people are get” show problems with verb patterns. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and punctuation, including the missing space after “age.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses and check each sentence’s subject and verb.
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