Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As modern society continues to evolve, the aging population has become a subject of considerable debate. While some individuals say that an aging population creates problems for governments, Others think that there are benefits if society has more elderly people. From that standpoint, I believe that the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages because of maintaining traditions and awarenss.

On one hand, one of the main advantages is that elderly people play a crucial role in maintaining traditions of the country in the long run. This is mainly because of the new generations that they embrace new habits rather then old one. As result, elderly people has a profound impact on protect those traditions and give it to young people.

On the other hand, despite these benefits, the aging population also has some drawbacks, one significant adevantage is that thay creates problems for governments such as pressure on the health sector. old people need

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a position—that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages—and identify preserving traditions as a benefit and pressure on healthcare as a drawback. These points are relevant, but the response does not develop them enough to answer the question fully: the benefit is only briefly explained, and the disadvantage is left unfinished at “old people need”. There is no clear comparison showing why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, nor a supporting example. The response is also 138 words, below the required minimum of 250; 19 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This leaves major parts of the argument incomplete. Develop both sides with explanations and examples, then make the comparison explicit in a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph gives your view, followed by paragraphs introduced with “On one hand” and “On the other hand.” This gives the reader a recognisable structure. However, the progression is limited because the second body paragraph stops mid-sentence, and the first body paragraph does not clearly connect its explanation to the overall claim that benefits outweigh costs. Some links are also awkward or unclear, such as “This is mainly because of the new generations that they embrace new habits.” Build each paragraph around one complete point, explain it in a logical sequence, and add a concluding paragraph. Use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “aging population,” “maintaining traditions,” “profound impact,” and “health sector.” This shows an attempt to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited, and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts difficult to understand: “awareness” is misspelled as “awarenss,” “adveantage” as “adevantage,” and “protect those traditions” is not a natural expression in this context. “Old one” is also imprecise when referring to traditions. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for healthcare costs, pension provision, and older people’s contributions would help you explain both sides.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “While some individuals say…” and a reason clause beginning “This is mainly because…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, sentence construction, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning unclear. For example, “elderly people has” should use a plural verb, while “As result” is missing an article. The clause “because of the new generations that they embrace…” is not grammatically well formed, and “elderly people … give it to young people” has unclear pronoun reference. The final sentence is incomplete. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation before finishing.

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