Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, in many nations of the world, due to the advancement in medical sciences, the life span of people had increased tremendiously. While some people believe this will create a lot of problems for the government, others believe their are lots of benefits attached to having elders in a population. i believe strongly that the advantages of having aging population outweighs the drawbacks.

One of the main disadvantages of having an aging population is the pressure they exact on social amentites without necessarily adding to the income of the government. The aging population are not part of the workforce hence rather than contributing to the countries economy, they are liability to the economy of the country. Additionally, the aging population requires constant attention which may not be readily available especially in this jet age where adults are busy doing two to three jobs.

However, the importance of the aging population cannot be overemphasised. They are regarded as the seat of wisdom for any country. The aging population are full of wisdom and help in maintaining peace and orderliness in the society. The aging population are also responsible for the transfer of cultures, tradition and history from one generation to another.

In conclusion, every young person today will become old one day and join the aging population, hence they cannot be eradicated from a population. Although, they may be a source of expense to the government however,their role in peace keeping and transfer of culture and traditions cannot be overlooked. In the future, creating of sedentry work can help to reduce the money spent on the aging population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the advantages outweigh the drawbacks, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address both sides by discussing government costs and care demands, then the elderly’s contribution to wisdom, social stability, and cultural continuity. These are relevant points, but some are less fully developed than others. For example, the claim that older people help maintain “peace and orderliness” is not supported with a specific explanation or example, and the proposed “sedentry work” is introduced only briefly. To strengthen the response, explain how these benefits operate in practice and compare their importance with the financial and care-related disadvantages before reaching your judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “However” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow, and the central position remains consistent. This meets the lower-band expectations for coherent organisation and shows some of the clearer progression associated with stronger performance. However, ideas within paragraphs are sometimes listed rather than developed, and repeated references to “the aging population” make the flow mechanical. The final sentence about creating sedentary work also arrives without a clear link to the preceding conclusion. Use pronouns or varied references where clear, and connect each supporting point explicitly to the argument about which side outweighs the other.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “workforce,” “economy,” “transfer of cultures,” and “generation,” and the reader can generally understand your meaning. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “seat of wisdom,” though this is not a natural collocation in this context. At this level, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors are noticeable: “social amentites,” “tremendiously,” and “sedentry” reduce accuracy, while “exact on” is an awkward choice for describing pressure. Repetition of “aging population” also limits flexibility. Build a more precise vocabulary for pensions, healthcare, caregiving, and older people’s contributions, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a contrast clause beginning “While some people believe…” and a reason introduced by “hence.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation are present. For instance, “the life span of people had increased” uses an unsuitable tense, “their are” confuses “there” and “their,” and “the advantages … outweighs” has subject–verb disagreement. The sentence beginning “Although” in the conclusion is also punctuated as a fragment before “however.” Practise checking each sentence for a clear main clause, consistent tense, and agreement between subject and verb. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex sentences easier to read.

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