Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In contemporary society, individuals are now living healthier then ever before. Some people believe that, aged people are creating problems for the governmment because of their health crises, living cost and and their unemployemnt. While others contend that, elderly people living in the society have a huge impact on young people and goverment. I believe that, its advantages of having aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

Health is the crucial element for every well-being to live a longer life. Due to the rapid growth of population in the society, many elder people ceates problems for the government to not have a proper diet and do not have the expense to care of their health. This increase the disease of many types among young and adult individuals. For example, people living in the rural areas has not the facilities to proper care of their hygienes, specially in womens. This could increase the level of uncertainity infections which could effect other people. Moreover, their living cost effects the ecomomy of country due to not paid enough taxes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“the advantages … outweigh the disadvantages”—and introduce concerns about health, living costs and employment. However, the response only minimally addresses the question: it does not explain what the advantages are, and the disadvantages are not developed into a clear comparison of which side is stronger. The example about rural hygiene and infections is difficult to connect to the effects of an aging population, while the point about taxes is left unexplained. The response also contains 174 words, below the required 250, so there is not enough development to support your position. To improve, discuss at least one specific benefit and one disadvantage, explain how each affects society or government, and support them with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph gives your position, followed by a paragraph about health and costs. Linking expressions such as “While others contend,” “For example,” and “Moreover” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the response ends without a conclusion, and the progression within the body paragraph is unclear: it moves from older people’s diet and healthcare to infections among other age groups, then to taxes, without explaining the links. Some transitions are also used awkwardly, and the opening sentence’s contrast does not lead to a balanced discussion. Use separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, make each paragraph develop one main point, and finish by directly answering whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “health crises,” “living cost,” “rural areas,” and “economy.” This gives the response a basic range relevant to the subject. However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, and several spelling and word-form errors make parts harder to understand, such as “governmment,” “unemployemnt,” “ceates,” “uncertainity,” and “ecomomy.” Phrases such as “huge impact on young people and government” do not specify whether the impact is beneficial or harmful, while “increase the disease” is not a natural expression. Aim for accurate collocations and more precise wording, for example, describing pressure on public healthcare or the contribution of older people’s experience.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns, with some attempts at more complex structures, such as “While others contend that…” and “Due to the rapid growth…”. However, these longer constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to follow. For example, “many elder people ceates problems … to not have a proper diet” has problems with agreement and sentence structure, while “This increase the disease” has an incorrect verb form. There are also errors with articles, plurals and punctuation, including commas after “believe that” and “contend that.” Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, verb forms and punctuation.

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