Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, humans are having longer life cycle than past. According to some individuals, aged people are mere a burden on administration, and other people consider them as a benefit for the whole society. To begin with their need for the advantages towards community, in my view the aged people are among one of the necessities in terms of morality.

There are numerous advantages of having elder people in a community where the materialistic approach is being used for having luxerious living standards. However, due to this never ending race of success and greed for wealth our younger generations have forgotten their ancestral roots. For example, in our daily lives we have seen many people who's presence felt like a feeling of security, while after their death we felt their absence as a result of moral crisis. Due this fact we can't just forget their sacrifices and need to our community as a whole.

On the other hand, the people who consider aged individuals as an unnecessary load over governments and regional wealth, the reason behind this mindset is that because they have forgotten that once the older population was participating in country's economic growth and stability. We as minors were being raised by those olders but gentle men. So we should never criticise on aged population considering them as a threat to our modern contemporary society. For instance, if we see the population of Japan, we will come to know that most of their people are living a longer life than the rest of the world, and this never affected their progress to success.

In summary, older people are not just a burden on our country's financial stability, nor they are worsening the societal norms. Thus they have the right to be deserved well as equal to rest of the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a broadly clear position that older people should be valued, and you give relevant points about their moral contribution and past role in economic growth. However, the response only partially answers the central comparison: it does not clearly explain whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, or develop the disadvantages such as pension and healthcare costs. The claim that Japan’s ageing population “never affected their progress to success” is too general and does not show how this example supports your argument. Several ideas, including the “feeling of security” and the older generation’s sacrifices, need clearer explanation and specific support. State your judgement directly in the introduction and conclusion, then develop balanced, relevant reasons for it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding paragraph. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from materialism to ancestral roots and then to a moral crisis without fully connecting these points. Some linking phrases, such as “Due this fact,” are inaccurate, and the contrast introduced by “On the other hand” does not lead to a developed discussion of practical disadvantages. Use clearer topic sentences and make each example explicitly support the paragraph’s main point. More precise referencing would also help readers track who “they” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “financial stability,” “ancestral roots,” and “societal norms.” These choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. However, the range is limited by frequent awkward or inaccurate word combinations, which sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “longer life cycle,” “a burden on administration,” and “load over governments” are not natural expressions in this context. There are also spelling and word-form errors, such as “luxerious” and “olders.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use a few precise terms for the actual policy issues, such as pensions, healthcare provision, and the workforce, rather than relying on broad phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “while” and “because,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “humans are having longer life cycle than past,” “Due this fact,” and “the people who consider aged individuals …, the reason behind this mindset is that because…,” where sentence construction and grammatical relationships are unclear. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms, as in “their presence felt like a feeling” and “they have the right to be deserved well.” Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with accurate verb forms and punctuation.

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