Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, health care sector has many advancements that allow the people to live more than before. Some people argue that aged individuals are burden on the authorities while others believe that it is beneficial thing for the society to having experienced person. I believe social benefits significantly outweigh these drawbacks.

Although, the older citizens are not play any crucial role in the development of the society, that why many people thinks that they are only consuming the funds and public amenities. Advocates of this notion believe that senior citizens are also occupying the jobs and other facilities, which lead to the deprivation of rights of the young people. For instance, they should allow the young generation to take part in jobs and other facilities. Other public facilities such as transportation network, often see occupied with the aged people.

On the other hand, critics that argue that the mature people are vital component of the society. One compelling reason why I support this point of view that, there is often seen that olderly people are increased day by day and they are deprived their basic human rights as well. They are not able to perform activities as compared with youth. Instaed of ignoring them, it is compulsory for the community and government to initiates such steps like giving them enough pension money or providing them discounts. consequently, they will be abled to manage their life style. Another reason is that they are experienced people, so they caan guide the youth to teach them the basic human rights and other things which would beneficial for them.

Taking everything into the consideration, I believe that having older people are helpful for the community. Despites of having some drawbacks which are inevitable, its a positive thing for hsving senior citizens in the soc

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view in the introduction and conclusion: you believe the benefits of an ageing population outweigh its drawbacks. You also identify a possible disadvantage—older people may use public resources and remain in jobs—and offer benefits such as experience and guidance for younger people. However, the response only partially answers the comparison in the question. The disadvantages are asserted rather than explained, and the benefits paragraph focuses largely on older people’s rights, pensions and discounts, rather than showing how their presence benefits society. The example about guiding young people is relevant but needs a specific illustration and fuller explanation. Develop both sides directly, then make the reasons for your judgement more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs for opposing views, and a concluding statement, so the reader can identify its broad structure. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand” and “Taking everything into the consideration” also signal shifts. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from jobs to transport without explaining the connection, while the second shifts from rights and support to the value of experience. Some links are inaccurate or mechanical, and references such as “this point of view” do not clearly identify the argument being discussed. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it, and connect the example directly to that claim. A complete, focused conclusion would also strengthen the overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “senior citizens,” “public amenities,” “deprivation of rights,” and “pension,” and these choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate enough to make parts difficult to interpret. For example, “aged individuals are burden” and “olderly people” are not natural forms, while “occupying the jobs” does not clearly express the intended point. Spelling errors such as “Instaed,” “caan,” and “hsving” also reduce clarity. Build a reliable set of phrases for discussing ageing, public spending, employment and intergenerational support, and check word forms and spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “facilities, which lead to the deprivation…” and a conditional result in “consequently, they will be abled…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “older citizens are not play,” “many people thinks,” and “it is beneficial thing,” which show problems with verb forms, agreement and articles. Sentence construction is also unclear in “One compelling reason why I support this point of view that…”. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check agreement, articles and verb patterns, and use full stops to separate ideas that currently run together.

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