Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries the people are living long life than before.Which is good thing for society.It shows how the people taking care of there health.

So,the young people get benefits from there older people older people. Because they have already experienced the multiple difficulties in there life which they can share with young people so, they can prepare and start solving the problems by using older people experience. Society can understand how the problems will become in life and what are the routes to solve those problems. Society can also understood about their ancestors. Like, who are they?, how they lived the life?,how they gained the respect from society?, what wrong things they did? These all things will be understood by old aged people.

The personal experience which I got from my grandparents is how to grow the children from their childhood. Because if they start fighting from childhood it will give impact on the coming generations. My grandparents had grown their children in very good way. They told them in childhood inly what ere the right and wrong things which helps them now and that's why we are living in a joint family. Nowadays, there are very less fanilies which live in joint family. So, from this what I understood is how to grow my own children in the future. So they will not become there own enemies. In recent years if we see there are multiple families fought in themselves for the money, property. Which give negative impact on coming generation. So old aged people will take care of these things.

That's why for me there are multiple positives rather than negatives to have old aged people in our society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall preference for the advantages, especially through the idea that older people can share experience and help younger generations. The example about your grandparents and raising children also makes the response personally relevant. However, the task asks you to weigh advantages against disadvantages, and the essay develops benefits almost exclusively; it does not explain what problems an aging population may create or why the benefits outweigh them. Several points, such as learning about ancestors and preventing family conflict, are mentioned but not fully explained as wider social benefits. To strengthen the response, address at least one disadvantage and compare its impact with a developed advantage, using a clear thesis and specific supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: it introduces the topic, develops ideas about older people’s experience, gives a family example, and ends with a conclusion. The grandparents example provides a recognisable progression from personal experience to a broader point. However, the development is repetitive, particularly the repeated claims that older people can help or take care of problems, and the essay does not organise the discussion into a balanced comparison. Some links are awkward or unclear, such as “So, the young people get benefits from there older people older people,” while frequent “So” and “Because” connections make the flow mechanical. Use distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and connect each claim to its explanation with clearer referencing and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “experience,” “generations,” “society,” and “joint family,” and these terms help communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, such as “old aged people” and “problems.” There are also noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems: “living long life,” “routes to solve those problems,” “fanilies,” and “fought in themselves” are not natural or accurate in context. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check common word partnerships; for example, describe older people as “older adults,” say they “offer guidance,” and refer to families “arguing over property.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “they have already experienced the multiple difficulties in there life which they can share with young people,” and you use some subordinate clauses. However, the range is limited, and many sentences contain errors that make reading difficult. Examples include the fragment “Which is good thing for society,” missing or incorrect articles in “a good thing,” and agreement and tense problems in “Society can also understood.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “In many countries the people are living long life than before.Which…” and the run-on questions about ancestors. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses; check articles, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation when editing.

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