Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, the average ratio of dying individuals is significantly enhance in several nations. Some civilians believe that the old people of a society generate difficulties for the various governments. Remaining population say that the elder generation are proven to be beneficial for a nation and I strongly assert with this statement.

To initiate this discussion, older people educate their grandchildern regarding different sectors of life.Aging population play a vital role in the development of a child. They teach them about their cultures and told them how to spend their whole life. Also assist them how to generate financial ways to support themselves.For instance, my grandparents taught me that always respect the surronding people and when i returned home after school they assisted me regarding my homework.

Additionally, supporting point is that they help you to learn about the basic technology through which you will get guidance for the future. Our elderly population spend their whole life observing the enviournment and learning various experience. They know those things that today individuals don't know.For example, my grandfather was software developer. He taught me how to use the computer which later helped me during my higher education in IT.

Furthermore, one noticeable drawback is that aging population create issues related to health sector which is diificult for the government to manage. When reaches in their 70's various disseases grasp them. Consequently, they went to hospital for the treatment.So implementing facilities in every hospital is difficult task for the government.To cite an instance, many people want that they get free treatment from public hospitals and they don't have enough funds to treat their patients for free.

To put it in a netshell, I pen down saying that the elder generation play a key role in the development of a nation.So we need to respect them and make sure that they will be taken care off in this 90's.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the introduction and conclusion: you believe older people benefit society, while acknowledging pressure on healthcare. The examples about your grandparents’ guidance and your grandfather teaching you computing are relevant and help illustrate the benefits. However, the response does not fully weigh the advantages against the disadvantages, which is central to the question. The benefits are mostly presented as general claims about teaching children and technology, with limited explanation of their wider social value. The healthcare drawback is also described briefly, and the conclusion does not explicitly explain why the advantages outweigh it. Develop both sides and make the comparison explicit to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and a drawback, and a conclusion. Sequencing expressions such as “Additionally,” “Furthermore,” and “To put it in a nutshell” help signal the stages of the argument. Overall, the reader can follow your main points. However, some links feel mechanical, and connections within paragraphs are not always clear. For example, the technology paragraph moves from elderly people’s experience to your grandfather’s software work without explaining how this supports the broader claim. Some sentences also run together, as in “...different sectors of life.Aging population...” Use clearer sentence boundaries and connect each example directly to the point it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “elder generation,” “development,” “health sector,” and “public hospitals,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, word choice and collocation errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural, such as “average ratio of dying individuals,” “Remaining population,” and “disseases grasp them.” Several expressions appear to be chosen for formality rather than accuracy, including “I pen down saying.” Spelling errors such as “grandchildern,” “surronding,” and “enviournment” also weaken control. Aim for precise, natural phrases—for example, “life expectancy,” “the rest of the population,” and “illnesses affect them”—and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including “For instance...” and “Consequently...” sentences, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur in phrases such as “Aging population play” and “the elder generation are,” while “When reaches in their 70’s” lacks a clear subject and has an incomplete structure. Articles and sentence construction also need attention: “is difficult task” should include an article, and “Also assist them...” is not a complete sentence. Punctuation and spacing problems sometimes obscure sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, articles, and complete sentence structure.

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