Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, now people are living longer than before, in that statement many says that it is an issue for government while, others believe that it is beneficial for community. From my perspective, it gives more advantage rather than disadvantage. I also believe that having more elder people will help us in many positive way. My preference is argued further in following paragraphs.

Out of all the argument, the foremost one to support my stand is that more old people in society is beneficial because they have more experience so, they can share it with their grandchild. For instance, if child is having in problem in office, he will able to solve it by himself cause he listen to old people when they share their job life. So, it is very vital for kids to have elder people in house to give them knowledgeable information.

Furthermore, another aspect worth considering is that aging population is overall beneficial matter. When parents are very busy with their office work or very tired, at that time elders can take care of kids. Also when parents are in the office, only grandparents can handle kids and play with them. For example, if parents are busy with office meetings, elders are the one who take care of their child. Therefore, it is advantage for the society.

On the contrary, there are some drawbacks that should not be overlooked such as having older people in country will be an issue for government. Main problem is that government need to provide more facilities like healthcare and pension scheme. This is a reason why it is problematic matter for government.

In conclusion, from my point of view, i will support the statement where aging population is beneficial and having more elder is always good for society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you believe the advantages of an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages. You address both sides, identifying older people’s experience and their help with childcare, as well as the pressure on government healthcare and pension provision. These are relevant points, but the response only partly develops the comparison required by the question. The examples about grandparents are similar and hypothetical, while the disadvantage is mentioned briefly without explaining its wider effects or weighing it against the benefits. The opening also promises a fuller argument than the essay provides. To strengthen your response, explain how the benefits affect society more broadly and directly compare their importance with the costs to governments, using specific supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs supporting your view, a paragraph acknowledging a drawback, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Furthermore” and “On the contrary” helps readers follow the broad direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and linking phrases do not always show the precise relationship between ideas. For example, the two childcare examples repeat much the same point, while “Therefore, it is advantage for the society” does not clearly explain how the example supports the broader claim. Some references, such as “it” and “this,” are also vague. Develop each paragraph around a distinct point, connect examples explicitly to that point, and use a wider range of clear referencing and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “aging population,” “experience,” “healthcare,” and “pension scheme.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “worth considering” and “drawbacks that should not be overlooked.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, sometimes making the intended meaning harder to follow. For instance, “more advantage rather than disadvantage,” “beneficial matter,” and “knowledgeable information” are not idiomatic expressions. Repetition of “elder,” “beneficial,” and “office” also limits precision. Build a bank of natural phrases for discussing demographic change and government costs, and check whether nouns and verbs commonly occur together before using them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “if,” so there is some variety. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “more old people in society is,” “he will able to solve it,” and “government need to provide.” The opening sentence also joins several ideas with commas, making its structure difficult to follow. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly formed subordinate clause, then check subject–verb agreement, auxiliary verbs, and articles. More reliable control of these patterns would make your argument easier to understand.

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