Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In the many countries of the world are different rule for popultion of the country. Many people say an aging population creates problems for goverments .Some other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people .These are two fifferent opionion of people .

Aging population creates problems for goverments i am agree with that opinion becuse i have many reasons and i am inculde this in reasons in the following pargarphs .

Aging population is a big problem of now days in pakistan many problem cause is the over population . Frist disadvantages is the over popultion is the to much use of the cars bikes and etc this use creats two much pollution in the enveriment .

Increase in population is danger for the food supiles becuse two much people need two much food every day over popultion 2nd disadvantage is shortges of the food and meals the daliy rotuine of the life .

Third disadvantage is the very big problem in new few year problem is the shotages of living house people use the green filed for the housing society becuse of this reduce in the green field after reduce in the green field down the averge of the food this the cause of the shotages of the food .

4 disadvantages is the two much rush in the every field becuse of the over population enemoplemt two much students in the school and in the universty shortages of the techers in the school and univerty

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a position—“i am agree with that opinion”—and give several reasons, including pressure on food supplies, housing, pollution and public services. However, the essay does not answer the central question: it discusses overpopulation generally rather than explaining the disadvantages and benefits specifically associated with an aging population, and it gives no advantages or comparison of whether benefits outweigh drawbacks. The ideas are also mostly listed rather than explained or supported with relevant examples. The response is 231 words, so it is 19 words below the required minimum; 20 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To address the task more fully, discuss older people’s effects on pensions and healthcare alongside their contributions, then make and support a clear comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening, a statement of opinion and a sequence of disadvantages. Numbering ideas with “Frist,” “2nd” and “Third” helps signal the list. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the paragraphs do not develop a clear argument about aging, and the final point about schools and teachers is left unfinished. Several ideas run together in long sentences, while repeated references to “over population” do not clearly connect one point to the next. Use separate paragraphs for the two sides of the question, and link each reason to its effect with clear transitions and reference words. A conclusion should restate your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “pollution,” “food supplies,” “housing society” and “shortages,” so the reader can identify the general concerns you intend to raise. However, the range is limited and repetitive, especially in repeated use of “problem,” “too much” and “over population.” Numerous spelling errors, such as “goverments,” “enveriment” and “shortges,” make the writing less clear, and some combinations are unnatural, such as “the daily routine of the life” and “rush in every field.” Build a more precise vocabulary for the actual topic, including terms such as “older adults,” “pension costs” and “healthcare demand,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to express reasons and cause-and-effect relationships, for example, “people need two much food every day” and “because of this reduce in the green field.” However, sentence structures are mostly simple or run-on, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence boundaries frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “Aging population creates problems,” “i am agree,” and “this the cause of the shotages.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with spaces before full stops and several ideas joined without clear sentence boundaries. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “which means that.” Proofread each sentence for a subject, a correctly formed verb and a clear ending.

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