Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, people age extented due to healty eating and living life-style. The elder people have good experience in each field and less stress than the new generattion. While, the more population also cause inflation or drag down the economy of the nation. Governments also find difficulty to handle area of country when populations continuious rise. They counter with restricted policy and awareness about inflation.

Globally, the population rising and crises like food, living, fresh water and etc arriseing. Althought, countries like, China have highiest number of people lieving there. They always one steps ahaid in every thing like econmy, knowledge, or tech inovations. Their authoriest created policys for prevent and controll their country. The younger genration is more inovative then older there. So, the point is the more popluation bring prospearity towards the nation, but having more younger genration, also bring inovations in the world.

On the other hand, the many countries are there who has lass ratio of people avilable and mainly elders, not have their sons to pass on their bussinesies. At the end it affect the county economy and their development. In a country like, Japan or Russia many families branches lost due to not having decendants to pass on assets to them. So, governments issues policy for marriage or child birth to prevent the nation. Because of this lot of migrants travel there and live their life peacefully.

In conclusion, the over population may create cause of increasing in the inflation or land prices. But, it outweigh the disadvantages of more population. Young generation handling their family businesses and bring innovation in the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear final view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Relevant points include older people’s experience, economic pressure, and the role of younger people in innovation and family businesses. However, the response only partially answers the specific question about an aging population: it often shifts to discussing population growth and overpopulation, which are not the same issue. The China example focuses on a large population and innovation, while the Japan and Russia example is difficult to connect to the claimed effects of elderly people. Several claims are asserted rather than explained. To strengthen the response, keep the discussion focused on older people and develop a few relevant examples showing how their contributions compare with costs such as pensions and healthcare.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, so there is some visible organisation. You also use basic signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” to indicate shifts in direction. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because ideas move between aging, general population growth, inflation, innovation and migration without clear links. Some connections are unclear, particularly the move from countries with fewer people and older populations to migrants living peacefully. Referencing is also imprecise, as in “They always one steps ahaid,” where the reader must infer who “they” refers to. Organise each paragraph around one clear point, connect examples directly to that point, and use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “inflation,” “economy,” “innovation,” “policy” and “development,” and this gives you some means of discussing social and economic effects. However, the range is limited and many spelling errors make the message harder to read, for example “healty,” “genrattion,” “inovations” and “decendants.” There are also inaccurate or awkward word choices and collocations, such as “people age extented,” “less stress than the new generation” and “pass on their businesses.” These issues sometimes make the intended meaning uncertain. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases, check spelling carefully, and choose words that express the intended relationship precisely—for example, distinguish population growth from an aging population.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple statements and make some attempts at longer structures, including “While, the more population also cause inflation” and “Because of this lot of migrants travel there.” However, these attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “the more population … cause,” “countries … who has,” and “the point is the more population bring.” Some sentence fragments or incomplete constructions also appear, such as “Although, countries like, China have…” and “not have their sons to pass on their businesses.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check singular/plural agreement and verb forms. More accurate simple sentences should come before adding complex clauses.

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