Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In most of the nations, the life extension of people is increasing nowadays, while some consider it a problem other argues that it has several advantages. This eassy intends to discuss the benefits and drawbacks for this phenomenon. However, I personally agree with the latter view.

To begin with, the people who consider an aging population a problem give their reasons as follows.Firstly, it causes overcrowding thus difficulties for the residencies of people.Secondly, several individuals may consider taking care of an elder as a financial and psychological burden for them.Thirdly, an overage person might need sudden medical treatments and they would also need a specific diet for them as the modern food might not be suitable for thier health which might be difficult for the people living in an area with less facilities,

On the other hand, several people opine that having an elder in their family is truly a blessing becuase it influences their children to learn more about their tradition, ancestors and a secret of healthy life.Older people have more life experience to solve several type of problems mainly related to family disagreements.For instance, most of the children from a home where an elder person is present, grow to be emotionally mature, kind and respectful toward others. Taking care of an older person gives a sense of responsibility to children and they learn several things about moral values.

To conclude, the benefits of aging population definitely outweighs the drawbacks and if people are not able to take care of an elder, there are several solutions available for this such as old age homes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear position: you state that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, then repeat this view in the conclusion. The discussion of family experience, children’s emotional development and moral learning is relevant, and the example about children becoming “emotionally mature, kind and respectful” helps illustrate your point. However, the disadvantages are less fully explained: overcrowding and the burden of care are listed, but their effects on governments and society are not developed. The benefits also focus mainly on family life, with little consideration of wider social advantages. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of each main point and connect them more directly to the question of whether the overall advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, a paragraph on benefits and a concluding position. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “Firstly,” and “On the other hand” makes the direction of the argument easy to follow. This coherent arrangement meets the expected standard, and the main ideas generally progress logically. However, the first body paragraph reads as a sequence of points rather than a developed argument, and some links between sentences are abrupt. For example, the move from overcrowding to the personal burden of care is not explained. Improve progression by grouping related ideas, using clear references to connect them, and adding a sentence that explains how each point supports your overall judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “financial and psychological burden,” “life experience,” “emotionally mature,” and “moral values.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “life extension of people,” “the residencies of people,” and “an overage person.” Spelling errors, including “eassy,” “becuase,” and “thier,” also reduce accuracy. Some phrases are vague, such as “a secret of healthy life.” Aim for more precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. Using accurate terms such as “increasing life expectancy” and “older adults” would make the discussion clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the introduction and a conditional structure in “if people are not able to take care of an elder.” The overall meaning is usually clear, and the essay is divided into complete sentences. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “some consider it a problem other argues,” the clauses need clearer punctuation and the verb should agree with its subject. The conclusion has a subject–verb agreement error in “the benefits … outweighs,” and “an elder” is used inconsistently with plural references. Punctuation is also missing after several sentence transitions, as in “as follows.Firstly.” Work on agreement, sentence boundaries and punctuation, while continuing to use varied sentence structures.

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