Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In most countries, people are present living longer ever befor thoes people told older people are creates the issues for governments and some people thought older people are suaitable for thier society. I think so that elderly people are most benefits for society because his advice are more suiatable for governments.

First of all, in my Opinion that, in many countries advantages, people are nowliving longer than ever befor because now many opportunity and sources as compare to ever before for like: in almost every countries have fitness club, gyms and sports clubs. This is more affected in younger health beacuse if you involved this activity, this is more profitbale for your health,mental and physcial active.

Another hand, some people say an aging population creates problems for governments beacuse older people are not working any waer and his health condition not spourt for work that's wahy this older peoples are create the problem for governments. An the older peoples people are nowliving longer than ever befor because now many opportunity and sources as compare to ever before for like: in almost every countries have fitness club, gyms and sports clubs other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people are more affected in younger health beacuse if you involved this activity, this is more profitbale for your health,mental and physcial active I think so that elderly people are most benefits for society because his advice are more suiatable for governments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a position—“elderly people are most benefits for society”—and mention both a possible benefit (older people’s advice) and a disadvantage (some older people cannot work and may have health needs). However, the response only minimally answers whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the ideas are not explained or supported with relevant examples, and the discussion shifts to fitness facilities and younger people’s health rather than the effects of an aging population. The repeated material also leaves the comparison unclear. The response contains 221 words, so it is 29 words below the 250-word minimum; 22 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To improve, explain the consequences of each point and make a clear, supported comparison of which side is stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, a paragraph beginning “First of all,” and another introduced by “Another hand.” These markers show an effort to guide the reader. However, progression is difficult to follow because the fitness-club point is repeated in the final paragraph, and several ideas run together without clear relationships. For example, the sentence beginning “An the older peoples…” combines the disadvantage, a repeated fitness example, and the conclusion in one confusing sequence. Some linking phrases are also used inaccurately, and the conclusion is not clearly separated. Use one paragraph for each main idea, connect each explanation directly to its claim, and avoid repeating whole points.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “governments,” “health condition,” “society,” and “advantages.” This gives the reader a general sense of the subject. However, the range is limited and many word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes several claims hard to understand: “older people are creates the issues,” “his advice are more suiatable,” and “more affected in younger health.” Spelling errors such as “befor,” “physcial,” and “profitbale” also reduce clarity. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases, such as “place pressure on public services” and “contribute valuable experience,” and check spelling and word forms. Avoid repeating the same vocabulary when you could express a distinct idea.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “if.” This shows some effort to vary sentence structure. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb patterns often make the meaning unclear. For instance, “older people are creates the issues” combines incompatible verb forms, while “his advice are” has unclear agreement and reference. The long sentence beginning “An the older peoples…” lacks clear boundaries between its ideas. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check agreement, articles, and punctuation, and split sentences when they contain several unrelated points.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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