Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's rapidally evolving world, each and every person wants to live longer. Although, the considerable proportion of individual argue that older age people dangerous for the high authority of the country due to providing pensions and effect population rate while remaining individuals considered that old generation create many advantages for the members of society.The advantages of old age people more than its drawbacks , ranging from better life experience to guidance.

To commence with, presence of grandfather and grandmother create the environment of home peaceful and healthy by sharing their life experiences. To elaborate it, when they share the challenges and problems that they faced in their life create the value of everything that we have today. Moreover, they always guide the young members of society about what to do or not, also they encourage them at every point . Furthermore, they take care of their grandchildren when their parents went to work which reduce the workload of parents. For example, when the baby born everyone take advices from the old age people due their experience and knowledge.

In addition, old age generation share the stories related to the past which create the histroy interesting particullary for youngsters who generally depend on technology especially mobile phone. Apart from that, people of older age make the society more beautiful however without them surrounding may seem less enjoyable. Additionally, the generation gap create different opinion and ideas that assist in many ways in human life. Nevertheless, it is important to have grandparents in house because people every age group require their parents to share heir problems and achievements.

To conclude, from my vantage point i find myself surrounded by more merits due to old generation support our daily life and play vital role of ypung generation ny providing their guidance and supervision. However, it may create some probelms for society such as their personality and fixed mindset, but they are not harmful for young generation and government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and you identify relevant advantages such as grandparents sharing experience, guiding younger people, and helping with childcare. These examples show an attempt to support your position. However, the response addresses the question only partially because the disadvantages are barely explained: pensions and population effects are mentioned in the introduction, while the conclusion refers vaguely to fixed mindsets and problems for government. The benefits are also mostly asserted rather than developed, and the link between them and society as a whole is not always clear. To strengthen the response, explain the main costs of an aging population and compare them directly with specific social benefits before reaching your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally group related points, and signposts such as “To commence with,” “Moreover” and “To conclude” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the second body paragraph moves from historical stories to society being “more beautiful,” then to generation gaps and family support without showing how these points connect. Some linking expressions are repetitive or do not express the relationship precisely, and references such as “they” can be unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it in a logical sequence, using fewer but more accurate transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “life experiences,” “generation gap,” “guidance,” and “workload,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited by repeated or imprecise phrases such as “old age people,” “old generation,” and “young members of society.” Several word choices and collocations are unnatural, for example “dangerous for the high authority,” “create the environment of home peaceful,” and “make the society more beautiful.” Spelling errors such as “histroy,” “particullary,” and “probelms” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise terms such as “older people,” “government,” and “the elderly,” and check collocations and spelling carefully so your ideas are easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “when,” and you use some subordinate structures to explain examples. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “presence of grandfather and grandmother create” has a missing article and incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “when their parents went to work which reduce the workload” has inconsistent tense and an unclear clause structure. The opening “Although” clause is also left without a properly connected main clause. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, tense and punctuation.

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